Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Seeking Serious Advice

So when we first moved into the house, a lady came knocking at our door at 9pm one Tuesday night with her hand waving furiously. My first impression was that she was a new neighbor come to welcome us to the neighborhood...not so much as it turns out. When I opened the door she held up her hands with seven fingers. After several attempts in broken English I was informed that she had seven children. I further came to understand that she was seeking permission to take the recyclables from the bin on the curb. To this I said, "fine go ahead." and began to close the door. As I closed the door she said, "okay you remember me when I come back" Very quickly I realized she had taken my affirmative to be my acceptance of a contract between the two of us by which she would rummage through my garbage at my curbside every Tuesday night. I immediately regretted every aspect of the interaction.

In the weeks that followed we realized that with a three bin system (Trash, recycle, Yard Waste) we really weren't generating enough trash to necessitate putting the recycle bin on the curb every week. (Well, that and the fact that we routinely forgot to put the trash out altogether) After a while I had nearly forgotten about the wayward (and overly reproductive) dumpster diver.

However...

Last week I was heading out to work at about 6:30 in the AM, and who do I see not only going through the recycle bin but chatting up the garbage men...you guessed it. Lets forget that I am notoriously surly at this time of day anyway, but something about having turned the front of my house into the garbage buffet REALLY got under my skin. So as I walked to my car I said, in a not overly unkind tone of voice, "Please don't through my garbage anymore". Her response was that I had given her permission. I said, "Well, please don't do it anymore." She fell back on what must be her standard mode of pleading and held up her seven fingers, and again informed me that she had seven children who all went to the school in front of my house (as if that was some sort of endearment to me). As I got in my car I again repeated, "don't go through my garbage anymore." My rear views revealed her moving quickly toward my car.. She was at my side window again holding up her seven fingers. I gesticulated wildy for her to get away from my car. She put her palms together and bowed to me. Had we reached an understanding or had she just sworn a blood oath to her god against all things Pete? She moved away from the car and went back out to the parking. As I drove by she gave me the creepiest smile I've ever seen. I was not at all happy about how the exchange had gone. Surely I could have conducted myself better and turned on the charm and calmly informed her that I was uncomfortable with her going through my cast offs, numerous though her offspring may be. Still, perhaps I had made my wishes clear and this would be the last I would see of her?

At this point your asking, what's the big deal? Let her go through your garbage and get on with your life. To you I say..."Yeah, but...." Look, there are several issues at play here that bother me about the situation, taken individually you will think me a hard hearted bastard and dismiss me, but perhaps taken together you can see my side?

First, with a stranger going through your trash you now have to be careful of what you put in the trash. Identity theft is a real thing and I have a lot to lose.

Second, someone who knocks on your door at 9pm asking to root through your trash clearly has boundary issues.

Third, had I opened the door to making my new neighborhood a haven for trash diggers? Not a very nice legacy to be sure.

Fourth, basic human nature says give a person an inch and they will take a mile. What was to stop her from deciding that if my aluminum cans were up for grabs, what about these rusty old aluminum rain gutters. And what about the bottles and cans that I had surely left in the back yard, why not hop the fence just to take a peak, after all she has seven mouths to feed.

Fifth, rubbish hauling contracts are in my purview at the job so I know that trash haulers use revenue from recyclables to offset the cost of operations, if all of sudden there would no recyclables to collect, trash hauling costs could conceivably go up. I can't have that on my head. I know that's more of big picture concern and, admittedly, it was distrust of strangers in general that led me to call an end to the smorgasbord of rubbish.

On Saturday there was a home invasion robbery, that ended with my neighbor a few doors down chasing the would be burglar into the nearby school and the Sheriffs having my block on lock down for a few hours until the police dogs found the suspect in the dumpster. Scavengers, burglars, oh my! You can see how paranoia might be setting in.

Then...

Tonight a knock came at my door at about 8:30pm. Guess who? She was back now with 3 of the 7 in tow. Presumably for the purpose of softening my hard heart into granting access to the remains of the past weekends shenanigans. I hadn't even brought out my bins yet. I did NOT open the door this time. When I saw it was her through the side window, again waving furiously with that, "there is really something wrong with me" smile. I simply looked in the eye and said "Go Away". She moaned a pleading "Nooooooo" as I secured the chain and locked the deadbolt. She left. She is about a 5 foot tall mid fifties Asian woman and at this point I have to admit, I'm nervous.

I know I've made light of some aspects of the situation for the purpose of holding your attention but in all seriousness I find the whole situation worrisome. And I also realize the person I am talking about is REAL person who clearly has REAL problems. But none of those problems are immediately mine or my neighbors. Recyclables can be accessed in any manner of ways (see previous posts) that don't involve knocking on my door or hanging around my house.

I don't worry about my own safety but for those under my care, especially the friendly dog who puts anything in his mouth including any manner of poison handed him by vengeful trash digger while I'm off making money in a more conventional manner than knocking on stranger's doors begging for access to trash. I know I'm probably being overly worrisome...but that's just me.
Any advice from the group on how I can solve the situation or at least some thoughts to put my mind at ease?

6 comments:

Pete said...

It occurred to me after finishing this post that for her to go through so much trouble for my recyclables they must be REALLY valuable. With all the beer consumed between me and Randy she must have hit the garbage grabber jackpot.

sheila said...

LOL... oh wow. I wouldn't worry, Pete. She'll be off to the next house and forget all about yours. Tell Barney not to take any candy from strangers. =D

Pete said...

I remember when you were having shouting matches with the guy going through the trash at your apartment! Why don't you come for a visit and tell her off for me! :o)

Anonymous said...

I have a friend that is a Pasadena police officer. They will do extra patrol around yor house. His beat just happens to be in your area right now i can give a description of her and have him approach her when she is not in front of your house. It might scare her off your hood.
Tim

sheila said...

Ugh! I could've killed that guy. I'd hear the faint rustling of garbage outside my bedroom window at 5:45am which developed into a full on CLANGING of bottles and cans. I asked him nicely... but just as you experienced... they don't take 'no' for an answer. I finally threatened to call the cops once and he actually dared me to do it!... lol. And that f*cker had a car! He was a professional. I hate that guy. I've got a picture of him... I'm going to post it.

GAW said...

Pete i dont think your actions were at all abrasive, ii think they were spot on. Identity theft is serious business, not to say she will do it but why leave yourself open for that kind of exposure. Next thing you know there will be others looking through your trash "with 10 children" and before you know it, another Peter DeClerk will arrive at your door (James Woods) saying you are trespassing with the police ready to haul you off. LOL

-G