This was the result of a trip to Ralphs after realizing that Randy was out of beer. Say what you will about Ralph's they do sell PBR for cheap. 24 pack" $11.99. Actually we could have gotten two 12packs for $4.99 each, but randy had aesthetic objections to two 12 packs as opposed to the "Handy Case."

This was our theme for last Saturday's nerdy debauchery. We Drank and we watched and talked about Star Wars. Actually, I have to give credit where credit is due: Somehow we got to talkin about Obi Wan Kenobi (my favorite Jedi) and for some reason I was insisting that Obi Wan did not appear on Degobah until return of the Jedi. Randy said he did make an appearance in Empire. I said that I was 100% sure and acted all cocky about it. That's how we ended up watching highlight reels. Of course Obi Wan does appear on Degobah in Empire trying to convince Luke not to go to cloud city, and as the scene approached I realized my mistake and had to apologize to Randy. So here it is in print Randy, you are a gentlemen and a scholar.

Any body up for some camping?

I'm going to try an get camping reservations in the morning wish me luck

Saturday Nite

As Pete was getting home from work on Saturday, i was headed to work (our current trend). I was working at the Civic and it was an Armenian concert. I was heading to work with the intention of asking my boss if i could leave early. That didn't happen. I walk through to door to find some new guy sitting in my bosses chair. Apparently my boss became very sick and couldn't come to work. He didn't leave one single piece of information for the show available to us. We were going into the show blind. Not a good start. There are only a couple of people on the staff that i trust to give instructions too and they still can manage to mess things up. I wished Pete was there. I wasn't freaking out or anything, i just needed to take over. The guy who was replacing my boss didn't know jack about anything, he was worthless. So i handled shit! That's right i'm "tooting my own horn". Things that happened beyond my control: the show started 50 minutes late, that's right, 50 minutes! Then we had to call the paramedics during intermission, always a favorite. People were super drunk, security had to keep an eye on one guy cuz he was wasted. An usher found puke all over the balcony and then some more outside (these are middle aged adults btw). A young guy was talking to us about the strangest things, i swear he was schizophrenic, and at one point he was talking about "something to could happen during the show" it put us on guard for sure. He too was followed for a while. The singer of the concert apparently had some bad blood with another ethnic group so we had to be prepared for any action. Thankfully i had enough staff and enough guys working just in case. So instead of getting out early like i very first wanted to, i ended up being there till midnight. The show ran an hour and a half over. So that was my Saturday Nite!

more Star Wars.....

Do you realise that everything that transpires in Star Wars can be atributed to the actions of one minor character- the rear gunner at the start of A New Hope. If he hadn't let the escape pod containing R2D2 and C3PO go past, then nothing else in the series could have happened. As well as touching on rasism, was Lucas also introducing his audience to the concept of Chaos Therory?

Chewbacca, he needs his medal...He DESERVES his medal.

Seriously, why didn't Chewbacca recieve a medal in Episode IV. As I look back now, it was my first lesson in the politics of Racism. Did Chewbaca do any less than any of the Rebels in Episode IV? NO! He was integral. Do you think this is an accident? NO! When he was younger, George Lucas was a smart man! He knew what he was doing. He wanted you to get pissed. Yeah... he's an idiot now, what can I say Genius fades, such is life.

Singin' the Praises of Obi Wan Kenobi

I'm tellin you this right now. Obi Wan Kenobi is the baddest Jedi of them all and I'll tell you why... redemption. Yeah he fucked up with Anakin but he redeemed himself with Luke Skywalker. He faced Darth Vader TWICE, motherfuckers. Kicked his ass physically the first time and SPIRITUALLY the second time. No disrespect to Master Yoda... he's the man, wisest of the Jedi but Obi Wan... Recognize, Bitches!

"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."

"The Force will be with you...Always..."
-Obi Wan Kenobi

My Week Part 2

Now that I'm not working or busy I can finish my story Because THAT'S HOW I ROLL. So now here is the conclusion to my week.
Wednesday- I went to work on Scrubs it was always fun like it usually is. i was playing a orderly and it was going all well. I met some new people that were all pretty cool. It was also good because the casting director called me up and booked me on it for the next day. But then something came out of the mouths of one of the extras to ruin my day. I heard they might cancel Scrubs (they haven't decided to cancel it yet it might go to another network). So it was a long day and then I got a call from some person at Central Casting. Theysaid they needed me to be a photo double for ER. It wasn't even for one of the original people it was for some gueststar. But it was for more money and after a little Persuasion Idecided to take the job. I didn't feel good not returning to Scrubs after I was booked on it. But the casting guy said he would get it covered and he will let me work Scrubs again.
Thursay- Early morning I went off to the WB Studios and ready to work on ER. It was going to be pretty easy. A photo Double does work when the actor is not available or there are not a lot of shots to do they just need a guy that kind of looks like the other guy. I guess I looked like some fat guy that got hit by a car. But the actor was real fat cuz i was wearing a hoodie that was 8xl but it was so big it made me look big. The scene i was in there were a bunch of other photo doubles touching me and the Parminder Nagra photo double was touching my leg and I think she ran her hand knowingly over my goods. That was cool with me. Ididn't get her number or anything because I didn't see it going anywhere after that. Again because I'm so likeable I became friends with some of the other people.
Friday- No WORK. So I chilled at home with Pete and Randy they were all getting drunk. Pete was drinking Bloody Mary's and Randy with beer. I got some food at Wonder Burger and that was the bomb. Later on I decided i was going to go to Sardo's bar in Burbank with a buncha friends from Scrubs. They usually go to sing karaoke and I said I will go but not sing and they said cool. So I was saving my drinking. Randy and Pete got in a fight when Pete ran out of vodka. Pete wanted some buthe didn't want to go. Randy still had one beer so even though he didn't want to go he had to get more beer. So he came back with some vodka for Pete but Pete ran out of mixer too. But he didn't know till Randy came back and Randy was not goin back. Anyways I went around 9:00 to meet up with my friends at Sardo's and there it was all cool. I decided to drink White Russians which was one not a good decision and two overpriced. I had two and then I decided to sing a song. DAMN YOU WHITE RUSSIANS!! But there was a lot of modern music too so I picked out a song I knew which was Fall Out Boy- Sugar We're Goin Down. I sang it pretty good then some of the other people singing their songs i got a pretty good cheer but all in all it was a fun time. After that it was around 1:00 so I decided to leave.
Now the rest of the week was just me at home and you don't waana hear that so i'm just gonna end this now. Cuz THAT'S HOW I ROLL!

aahhhh the Frivolity

Since Jeff is covering all the political bases, i'm gonna write about something frivolous.

Welcome to Pete's celebrity and pop-culture report:

The first item on the Agenda is Tom Cruise. Is it just me or do you guys just fucking cringe when you see that guy these days. I grew up on Tom Cruise movies, the homoerotic undertones of Top Gun, Cocktail and, A Few Good Men, have given me the liberal view of homosexuality I now posses, and have eased us into the Brokeback Mountain era. However, with his recent scientologistic meltdown and his corruption and insemination of Joey Potter (AKA Katie Holmes) I can't even stand to look at the Fucker. A few weeks ago, Alex and I went to see a movie (Brokeback Mountain, its okay to admit it Alex these people are our friends) and they showed a preview of MI:3. I just grew sick to my stomach watching that lunatic trying to be a tough secret agent. He's the Anti-Bond. I could see Alex was sharing my disgust as I saw him shaking his head and whispering to himself, "God I hate Tom Cruise."

Second on our adgenda is how we can make the world a better place one movie at a time. If Hollywood is interested in making the world a better place and movie goers want to participate here all we have to do: Stop making movies. Stop going to see movies. Here are a list of movies that you should be ashamed to have made, or ashamed to have seen:
Cheaper By the Dozen 2 (Are you really that desparate for Money Steve Martin?)
Big Mama's House 2 (I can't imagine why Paul Giammotti didn't sign up fo rthe sequel)
Duece Bigalow European Gigalo (Really, any movie with Rob Schnieder)
The Pink Panther (Steve Martin, you had such potential, why couldn't you just go and piss on Peter Seller's grave and save us the aggravation?)
That movie thats a cross between the Brady Bunch and Cheaper by the Dozen with Dennis Quaid, I can't remember the name because I tried to erase it from my memory right after seeing the Trailer.
Dumb and Dumberer
American Wedding
The Rundown
Flight of the Phoenix
Sahara
Anyway, you get the idea. If you either made or went to see any of these movies, shame on you you're contributing to the downfall of Society.
One more thing...When is Ghostbusters 3 coming out?

What else?
I just heard that two of the only decent shows on TV have been cancelled, Scrubs and The Book of Daniel. Probably to make way for another show where people lose weight, or eat disgusting things or, here's a new one, lose weight while having to eat disgusting things. Better that anything non-reality get cancelled, we wouldn't want to have the Networks paying actors and writers, they get paid too much, I'm looking your direction cast of Friends. How does it feel to have ushered in the age of idiocy on TV?

I knew that Blogger is run by google and I give them props for not giving in to government pressure to provide user searches, but I have to take those props right back for giving into pressure from the Chinese government to censor searches on thier Chinese servers. Just like microsoft and yahoo did. You're already billionaires is it worth selling your soul to a totalitarian government so you can become GAzillionaires? I think not. You've become complicit, how does that feel. Not too good. Then again I use google and the products of its advertisers so now I'm complicit. This shit sucks.

We had the One Ring Celebration at work this weekend where nerdy girls show up in bodices with lots of leather and laces that push thier boobs all up and together drawing attention away from thier acne, frizzed out hair and coke bottle glasses (Lauri's gonna kill me for that one... not for the boobs comment but because I made fun of they way nerdy girls look) Also, Elijah Wood and Sean Astin can express thier man love for each other freely. (You boys sure found a way to pass the time on Barad Dur, yes another Brokeback Mountain/LOTR reference, so?) I went to the mic during question and answer session and asked Sean Astin what it was like to work with Kevin Bacon in White Water Summer and why during the body of the movie he looked like he did in Goonies but during the Porlogue, epilogue, and intelude he looks like he does now. But he was too busy gazing longingly at Elijah Wood to answer my question. Did this really happen? Deduce what you know of me and figure it out for yourself.
Anyway, I'm happy to say the show was poorly attended. Evidence that LOTR will soon fade back into obscurity. I'm more comfortable with it there. Its like when your favorite punk band makes it big and you long for the days when only you knew about them....yeah, like that.
Thats it for now.

drum roll please......

..... this is the 500th post on our blog!!!

WOOHOO

i should probably use it for something more meaningful... lol. not much is going on with me, i'm overwhelmed with things i need to do before i move. and that's taking up a lot of time and energy as it turns out. i do have a joke:

Q: did you hear about the scarecrow who won the nobel prize?

A: apparently he was outstanding in his field.

well, it got a laugh out of me when i heard it... i'll have to give credit to my sis, leslie, for that one.

Lament

Hey my peoples what's happening? I will tell you exactly what is happening and that is that I lost my train of thought. Oh right R. Moe can't get a date. Maybe I am not as awesome as I think I am. Could it be? Could I be a loser and not know about it? You guys would tell me, right?
I don't know anymore, the online ventures which used to at least provide hits and misses have provided absolutely nada. I can't remember the last time someone on Yahoo! responded to me.
This is sad people. Really I have nothing else to say except it's sad.
I'm out.

My Week

Hey peoples haven't blogged in awhile so I decided to on randy's new computer. Now that he has to have the internet. Anyways I have had a fun week. Not stealing your thing Sheila but I'm going to list them the same way you listed yours.
Monday- MLK day so I had no work and pretty much just tried to get work for monday. I waited for a call to work on Scrubs for tuesday and while I was waiting i watched a movie called havoc which was okay. I can't explain the movie because it's too complex. Still no work at 6:00 so I called the work line and I heard this one girl needing a caucasian 18 to look younger and earlier when I called at 12:00 she needed one then. So I felt sorry for her so I called her and was booked as a gym student on Injustice. Then I watched Transporter 2 which was just okay.
Tuesday- This was a wierd day. It was going to be a short work day which was good. 10 minutes before work I saw a girl come out of the shuttle van it was Kelly. Kelly is a girl I liked but we kinda fell out of touch and she always said we were just friends which could be true. Anyways I was picked to jog on the track I guess they picked me because it looked like I needed it. The track was next to a football field. I started at the 50 yard line and went to the other side of the 50. I jogged the whole time because I wanted to look good for Kelly. We probably did the scene 10 times so I ran over 1,000 yards that day. Me and kelly decided to see a movie later that night and that movie would be Match Point. When i got home around 11:30 I did nothing then I thought I was going to catch some z's so I went to my bed. I was about to fall asleep when my dad called and woke me up wanting me to make a deposit for him. So I did and then Kelly called me and we figured we would watch the movie at 7:30. Then Farrah called me and booked me on Scrubs for Wednesday so that was cool. I saw Match Point and I thought it was very good. Well acted and not like any Woody Allen movie I ever saw. A very good story when you think something is going to happen something else happens. Kelly didn't like a part but I can't tell you because if you ever see the movie I would ruin it for you. But it was a intersting day.
-My pizza is here and I'm hungry so I will continue this blog later and it was all ready getting kind of long.-

well helllllooooo....

hi everyone! i'm still here in texas visiting the family. we're having a good time... sadly my trip is already coming to a close on saturday. i'll recap my stay so far (the abridged version):

saturday-
my flight got in around 4:00pm. actually, it was exactly 4:00pm... right on time. don't you love that? my parents picked me up, we drove home, hung out for a while and then went to dinner with my sisters.
sunday-
went for a drive through the countryside. it was such a gorgeous day!! my father drives like a maniac... he needs his license revoked.
monday-
me, my parents, and sisters went down to fort worth to a livestock show/rodeo!... lol. which was actually a lot of fun. it's basically the county fair without all the lameness. lots of animals, lots of cowboys!
tuesday-
waited for leslie to get off work, then we went to check out some apartments. just chilled for the rest of the day.
wednesday-
leslie and i went back to one apartment community that we loved and signed a lease! = o so... i guess it's official now, i'm moving out here in march. (gulp) i've been dying to see brokeback mountain but no one wanted to join me, so i went to go see it last night by myself. that was the first time i've been to the theater solo. that movie was incredible. i think it changed my life.
today-
i couldn't sleep so i got up pretty early. then i loafed around in my pajamas until 3:30pm or so... lol. then les and i went out to best buy, target, you know... just browsing.
tommorow-
who knows
saturday-
i'm on my way back to socal. hopefully lauri picks me up at the airport? hint, hint :)

and that brings me to now. i was online checking out my match.com happenings and decided to contribute a report on my life outside the rat race. by the way, i have a date on saturday night! heehee... he's a teacher- middle school math and science and a college oceanography course. so basically, out of my league... lol. wish me luck!

I'm going to attempt to round up my last week or so, as much for my benefit as for anyone who bothers reading my pretentious posts. last wednesday I did my first session as a youth worker, which resulted in me overseeing a crowd of 8-11 yr olds while they bashed drums and attacked a vintage wurlitzer organ- the resulting music put to shame many an avant-garde Norwegian jazz outfit. I went to bed, and drifted into a contented slumber when i was awakened by my cell phone's ringing- i answered in a state of confusion (you know what its like when you've just been woken up), and kept on agreeing with my friend Aaron until he let me go back to sleep. At work the next day a recolection of this conversation came to me, so I called Aaron and discovered that I had agreed to go to a party in Carmathen that night (I guess the equivellent of you guys going to a party in San Diego).
So i rushed back home after work, grabbed some cans of beer and a bottle of obscenely cheap vodka (the kind even a destitute siberian potato farmer would be unsure about), and jumped into aarons van. Drinking began in the van, continued with white russian abuse once we reached the party, and peaked with tequila in a deserted bar. then it was back to the party, and after the pipe was handed around things seemed to be winding down, when Aaron suddenly anounced 'i think i've got some mushrooms in my bag, lets have some if i have'. He was right, and we did. what happend after has been open to debate but we're all agreed that it involved Pink Floyds 'animal' album, Stuart being violently sick over the wall, a visit from the police and a twenty minute xylophone solo from yours truly.
After the sun rose we got a few hours sleep, then drove back home, had a smoke then decided the swimming pool would be good place to go. Pool, sauna and jucuzzi were all enjoyed with a vacant smile, then it was onto Cardiff. Drinking and smoking recomenced and we viewed a ceremony involving a horses head on a pole, which is particular to South Wales and is thought to date back to Pagen times. It is performed to welcome in the new year, and was taking place on the 13th because that is New years eve on the old calender that Britain used to follow, when it was changed, some communities in Wales thought the English were trying to steel days off them, so continued with the old calender. Then it was off to a club, where we caught a couple of bands, 'The Noisettes' being the best.
On saturday i felt the need for something wholesome, so a 4 mile hike was completed followed by lots of sleeping. The wholesomeness didn't last long for it was back into Cardiff on the sunday for more beer and weed and rock of the highest order with 'Clutch'- West Virginias finest hardcore bluesmen. On monday the artistic muse took me and i completed a watercolour of a San Clemente sun set, its not my best work but it's on my last bit of special watercolour paper, and that shit's expensive, so Tim, suck it up. Tuesday is drumming day, then wednesday everything came full circle as i headed back to the youth centre for more noise making fun. Today i am tired.
Thanks to Amanda and Jeff for my conselation prize in the essay contest, i shall endevour to read your Blogs aswell from now on- i didn't realise they were there.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNLEE!!!!

The Quality of Wisdom

Wisdom is slow, and comes but late.

Found in an Anglo Saxon Elegy titled "The Wanderer

Crazy...

Around 8:45PM the insanity sets in and begins to take hold. As he sits listening to some new music he dowloaded off iTunes a week ago his thoughts drift towards life. With the music pounding the thin tinny sounding speakers of his desktop computer he ponders. Ok that is enough I can't think of anything I am goin insane.
It is approximately 8:50 Monday evening and there ain't shit to do here at work. As most of you know I usually am saddled with the night shift on Mondays, Tuesday and Wednesdays. Now while some people would have no problems with this, lately I have been losing it. You see once it became not busy time basically after New Years it has been dead after like 6PM. So I am sitting here with my Monday guy Kris. He is watching some crazy Japanimation and I am complaining here. Tomorrow I work with someone different, a new guy, not cool. I hate people who I work with not knowing as much as me because inevitably I end up handling all the problems or they keep asking me questions when all I want to do is dream of insane things to do that will conquer the boredom.
So what's new? I received my new Dell computer on Friday. It is all setup and my room has been semi rearranged. It is still a mess but now only because of the pile of clothes strewn across the floor. Does anybody enjoy doing laundry?? Just kidding. I am thinking about doing a bit of it Thursday cause I am running out of clean clothes. So it is about that time. Anyway back to my computer so it is all setup all the cables are plugged in and what not yet I cannot connect to the Internet and this makes me unhappy and a bit angry. I have troubleshooted using the skills I have learned and have produced no solution. So I think otnight when I get home I am going to call Dell Support and be like "Wassup bitches?" Probably not though I talk a tough game but am usually full of shit.
Last night Pete, Lauri and I went to Casino Morongo. Katie and Clay met up with us later. I had only been there one time before last night. And the last time it sucked donkey balls. This time it was better. The casino is much nicer than it was last time I was there. I still didn't win any money at all and have pretty much given up on gambling ever producing any positive results for me unless losing your money is what you look at as positive. But all in all it was a fairly good time Lauri won some money on a quarter slot in the non smoking room, Pete I think broke about even or so. We already know how I did.
That's about it for now I don't really have much of anything positive to say right now except... I would like to than Jeff and Amanda for being judges in our little Essay Contest and especially for crowning me "The Winner". That's right in case anybody hasn't checked Jeff's Blog I was awarded the prize as Best Essay. It feels good to be recognized for my ability to drink 21 beers and document the event. My liver curses you though as this will only lead to crazier schemes in an attempt to top this stunt. But screw him, my liver that is, he is a party pooper.
Anyway I guess thats all for now. Once again I would like to thank Jeff and Amanda for honoring me and my ability to get blasted on a Thursday for everyone else's reading enjoyment. And kudos to everyone else out there who submitted an Essay and I enjoyed reading all of them. Well people back to staring at the clock for another 45 minutes or so. Have a good night and a pleasant tomorrow. PEACE!

My TOP 5

Hey guys really have no good stories. Except on this movie I was on the pants didn't fit. If you wanna hear more about this story tell me but right now I'm going to list some things all the guys and girls should both do list my top 5 celebs I wanna screw:
1. Jessica Alba - A girl so hot she can make any bad movie like Idle Hands be good. Also make a TV show not that good be great. Also she's got a hot bod.
2. Jessica Biel - What's so hot about "Esquires Hottest Woman on Earth" is that she was on a good christian family show. Then she shot a risky phot shoot for Gear and you saw what a great body she had and saw she was a little bad. Her movies haven't been that great (Stealth) but at least you can semi-enjoy it. Also her hair is so hot and it doesn't matter what color it is.
3. Rachel McAdams - Fuck Ryan Gosling I don't care if she is with him. So hot also can change her hair and still look amazing. I mean she's in a movie called "The Hot Chick".
4. Scarlett Johansson - I wouldn't mind if she stalked me (Match Point). She plays a kinda stalker in that movie which I will see soon. The thing about Scarlett which is different from the other girls on my list is that she's a very good actress. Also that raspy voice she has can melt you.
5. Eliza Dushku - This girl has been on my list for a long time ever since she was a bad vampire slayer on Buffy. She has jet black hair and just looks like a wild girl. That scene in Jay & Silent Bob where she licks her lips at Ali Larter is so hot.

Now I think everyone else should make a list too!!!!!

Here's the Rat Race and Welcome to it!

So I've taken on some additional responsibilities at work recently... and part of those responsibilities includes coming in and doing office hours, answering phones, making phone calls, and doing paperwork. The other day I spent all day sitting in an ofice chair in front of a computer. Are you kidding Me? My back hurt, I was antsy. In short, it was awful. I actually had to work in the same office as my boss. Not that he's a terrible guy but usually when I'm there, I'm the facility manager and don't have answer to anybody. The worst part, I come home at the end of the day, i've been to four hours of school and 7 hours of work, and I'm wrecked. I'm in bed by 11:30. What kind of lives are these?If there's two things I love doing its watching Aquateen Hungerforce at Midnight and playing video games til three in the morning, now all thats being compromised for the sake of some financial indepence, I just don't know if I can take it.

While I was typing this. my knuckes started hurting, do i have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome after three days in an office?

2006 "Year of Change"

What will be different this year? What will the change actually be? I like to think that everything will fall into place for me. I won't have to work hard for it, it'll be a surprise even. I've had pretty good luck in the past. I've gotten some awesome apartments over the years. I'd like to think that that's because of my good credit. So for the 2006 "Year of Change" I'd like a new apartment. Either something cheaper or to keep this apartment and save money somehow. I've had a job that keeps me off the streets. Sometimes i've had two jobs. I have two jobs right now. For 2006 "Year of Change" I'd like a new job. A place to work that isn't a commute. A place that i actually enjoy going. But i place that still keeps the roof over my head. I might even stretch it a bit and say a place that is fun to work. I was thinking yesterday if it would be possible to give my two weeks notice this week and be able to survive while i look for another job. I got some money saved up, i could pay rent with that. But then there's all the other bills. So anyways, i think i'll put that on the back burner. I was looking up jobs today on Craigslist and on the Pasadena Star News website. There were some jobs that caught my interest. I really need to make a resume. I don't have one and i've never done one either. There must be a template or something right? Then there's the old fashioned way. Walking into places and asking for applications and if they're hiring. This too has worked for me in the past. I think i might be a bit too old for that now. Even though i look young, i feel old. Sheila will be leaving to Texas most likely. And if it really happens then it's going to happen fast. She can't afford her apartment and she hates working here too. So if Sheila leaves then i will surely have a mental breakdown at work. I can't do it alone, the company is growing to fast. And i can almost guarentee that my new assistant will be one of the temporary people who have been working here a while. Again, i will have a mental breakdown. So what are my options? This particular post will most likely bore you all, but i have to get it off my chest. And i also know that i seem to get if off my chest a few times in other posts. I guess i'm starting to freak out. But its the "Year of Change"!!!!! I will make things happen. I will dammit! If any of you know of job openings where you work, let me know. I'll lie on my resume if i have to! :)

A few notes to my fellow bloggers!
Sheila: Your almost done coating, then we are gonna get lunch.
Randy: Is Angelina Jolie really pregnant?
Lynlee: Sunday Funday!!!!! I look forward to it.
Alex: I know you got some stories in that head of yours, let's read them.
Pete: I'm hungry and i want tacos.
Tom: Are you reading this??
Tim: How's Tahiti tickets looking?
Owen: Some guy emails me with the same last name as you. I don't know who this is. Any ideas?

My Top 5

I figure since no one ever comments to my posts anyway I could go ahead and post my Top 5 and would basically go unnoticed. So here they are in all their glory.

1. Kelly Clarkson
2. Jennifer Love Hewitt
3. Natalie Portman
4. Jessica Simpson
5. Morgan Webb

You might be thinking Randy why Kelly Clarkson? Four words: Since U Been Gone plus I voted for her in the original "American Idol". OK you say Fair enough. But seriously Jennifer Love Hewitt, risky pick I know. Has she been in anything decent since the original "I Know What You Did"? Simple answer, No she hasn't. Does it change the fact that she is smokin hot? No. Anyone who disagrees with Natalie Portman can go and I can't think of anything to say. Needless to say she is probably the sexiest woman on this list. Now as Jessica Simpson goes, she is either dumb as a rock or the smartest woman in showbiz. Thew whole ditz thing paid off Huge. Plus she dumped Nick Lachey, dead weight. And whether she is dumb or not she is super hot as well. Have you seen her music videos? I thought so. Finally we come to Morgan Webb a last minute addition. Morgan Webb is not only hot but she has all the intangibles you look for in a woman. She digs video games, she doesn't have too dress slutty to get my attention, she doesn't wear too much makeup. Did I mention she likes video games? Plus she isn't too well known so it makes me think she is attainable. Even though I would have no shot in hell at her, I can dream. And she has her show "X-Play" which even though I love video games would be completely unwatchable without her.

Now they may not be the hottest women in the world and you may even disagree with them but that is why it is My Top 5 and not yours. If you have one feel free to post yours. I doubt any of you will and you probably think I am a loser/ pervert. But whatever. PEACE!

hey just incase the judges havn't noticed, my previous claim of failed entry was false, its down there, way at the bottom (probably similar to its position in the final judgment)

My Submission: A Thursday unlike yours

The following is a true story. No names or facts have been changed. And excuse any spelling or grammatical errors. My keyboard sucks.

Let me start off by saying I know my submission is late and what not but I am not really interested in the No prize anyway. My prize was accomplishing what I set out to accomplish last night. For weeks now people have been saying I waste my days off by sitting around playing video games and watching terrible TV. I should be doing my laundry or cleaning my apartment, etc. So last night instead of doing nothing I set a goal that has been previously unattainable by me. My goal would be to drink 18 beers. I have tried this before but usually fall asleep and quit or can't move by about 14. I have logged when each beer was consumed and what was going on at that time. So sit back, enjoy and remember folks I am a trained professional. Please do not attempt to try this at home, but especially not in public.
The day started out like any other day. It was rather sunny outside and I was playing a video game. Pete had come over and we were sitting around like we normally do. Just a Lazy Thursday. Then I decided instead of sitting here wasting my day. I am going to drink an 18 pack. Pete though it was preposterous and that I would fall asleep because when I drink a lot that happens. But my mind was made up and so I began.

1:20 PM - I crack open my first Miller Lite and begin. Pete and Alex are here chilling. Alex had just woke up. He came out of his room wearing the same clothes he wore the night before. I told him that and laughed at him. He then told me Pete was wearing the same clothes he wore the night before. I looked at Pete and this was true he was. The TV is on the blue screen cause I finished my video game and didn't fell like watching TV. Pete is on the computer checking the blog. All is quiet except for the gardeners blowers below. And so it has begun.
1:36 PM - Beer two. Pretty much everything is the same, but now we are watching TV music videos for the most part. We are talking about movies and Michael Biehn. You know Michael Biehn. The guy for Terminator and Navy Seals. We are lamenting the fact we haven't seen him in many movies lately. But eventually we get over it. Pete heads back to the computer he is searching for a Walkthrough for RE4 he is stuck on a part with a puzzle or something. He finds it and gets the hint he needs.
2:01 PM - Beer three. Again all the main players are still here. WE are back to watching TV. Now we are switching between music videos and G4 TV. X-Play is finishing up, a show about video games. There is this woman on X-Play named Morgan Webb. I heart Morgan Webb. She is super hot and plays video games. Hello does it get better than that. I think not. Anyway so I am gushing over how much I love Morgan Webb. Then X-Play is over and this other show comes on named "Cheat" again about video games. This one stars a hot chick named Kristin Holt. While Kristin is hot I doubt she plays video games and Morgan Webb is still hotter and the love of my life.
2:12 PM - I go to the bathroom. I have to pee.
2:20 PM - Beer four. More of the same I am still thinking about Morgan Webb. Then Pete brings up Lindsay Lohan, how she went to the hospital and all. Pete says it is because of her bulimia. He tried to prove this but looking it up on the computer but no luck. While looking it up he gave my computer a virus. I took care of it. I said it didn't matter why LiLo went to the hospital but bit was for bulimia. Good. That girl needs a sandwich or something she is unhealthy skinny.
2:40 PM - Beer five. Still all hanging out here. Watching music videos and a sports talk show. They are all talking about the SC-Texas game and how Vince Young is the best player ever. I am like whatever. Then we start talking about hot girls and whether or not they would still be hot with shaved heads. For example Natalie Portman, who is super hot with hair or without hair. Pete and Alex disagree they say chicks with no hair regardless of whether they are Natalie Portman or not are not hot. I say they are stupid but they just shrug it off as if I am just not thinking rationally. A day removed I still stand by my statement. Pete is playing with an umbrella and breaks it. It was already broken though. I think I broke when I threw it into my car. Whatever. A package comes to the door it is addressed to Alex which is odd cause Alex never gets packages. It turns out it is for the both of us. They are the American Eagle giftcards from my cousin, Christmas gifts. Tim called and said he was going to The Boat if we were interested in joining him. I said We'll see.
3:11 PM - Beer six. Still watching music videos for the most by bands or artists that suck. I am still mulling over The Boat proposition. I think we will go. Still unsure though. Pete says he has got to go. He went to school. I say Stop by after school and bring a camera. I want to document this with pictures. He says ok. I finish my beer.
3:21 PM - Went to The Boat. We met Tim, Danny and Jonah there. We talked, and drank and ate. I should not have eaten it filled me up and that was bad. I had two large Miller High Life beers which amounts to 4 beers. So leaving The boat I had consumed 10 beers. Only 8 left right?
5:15 PM - Back home from The Boat. Alex is watching a DVR episode of Space Ghost. He is married to Bjork in this episode. Funny stuff I suggest you check it out. I am outside having a cigarette and a beer. This is Beer eleven.
5:34 PM - Beer twelve. Tim, Danny and Jonah came over to drink a few beers with me. They had a beer or two and then left. I am not sure what they did after that. I am sure it was fun though.
5:40 PM - Beer thirteen. I almost forgot to record this one. Tim loaded me so fast. It almost skipped my mind. Luckily I remembered. Tim was saying Dave was on his way to Mammoth. Hope he has fun. Danny is in the bathroom. Jonah is drinking some water. We are just chilling. Alex can't drink cause he has to work on Friday. Oasis is playing on the iPod. Tim is reflecting on days gone by.
6:07 PM - Beer fourteen. Tim has gone into the bathroom to shave his goatee into a Fu Manchu like me. I am his hero. Danny is chilling listening to tunes. Jonah is tired and half asleep on our couch. We are listening to my Crown Mix, which has mush less rap now Jeff, It is Sublime with Rivers of Babylon.
6:20 PM - Took a piss.
6:55 PM - Beer fifteen. I am cooking some ground Turkey patties on the Foreman grill with Cajun seasoning. It was delicious. I was pondering perhaps getting some real food after my beer. But that plan went away. I guess I forgot.
7:20 PM - First Hurl. I had to throw up because I don't know why. But I did. Afterwards I felt 100 times better. And back to drinking.
8:15 PM - Pete comes by and I am passed out. He says I was unconscious and moaning periodically. Entirely possible. Apologies to Pete for being asleep when he came by. Sorry dude.
9:15 PM - Back up. I am awake now. That power nap was just what I needed. Alex brought home Carl's Jr. I had a Western Bacon Cheeseburger and some fries with a Coke to wake me up.
10:05 PM - Back to drinking. Beer sixteen now. The finish line is in sight. I think I can I think I can. We are watching Scrubs on DVR. Great show. It is so hilarious how when JD thinks something you like see it playing out. Funny stuff.
10:58 PM - Somewhere between 10 and now, I went to the bathroom and made myself throw up again. Not sure why I guess I wasn't feeling well. But onward Christian soldier I say. Dive into Beer seventeen. I am surging towards the finish line. That mystery trip to the bathroom was just what I needed. I am empty and can feel the cool beer coating my queasy stomach and making me feel as if all is right in the world. I am finishing up Scrubs and have now moved on to CSI on DVR. Some crazy lady covered in hair. Damn I thought I was hairy.
11:47 PM - See this would be where I would stop. Beer eighteen. But somehow in keeping track of these I screwed up. After reviewing the tally today I just noticed I wrote the same beer twice for some entries. Too drunk to notice. On my tally it says I am only at 16 now. So thinking AI am at sixteen. I keep drinking. I feel great though I am just watching SVU on DVR. Drinking my way to health or poverty whichever comes first. Alex is going to bed because he has to work. I tell myself I can reach eighteen it is attainable. Little did I know I already had. So I keep drinking.
12:29 AM - Beer nineteen. Last night I thought Beer seventeen. Now I am watching Anchorman on DVR. I have the hiccups but I will not deter from my mission. Keep in mind people I am already done. You see what happens when you drink. Anchorman is frickin hilarious I am laughing my ass off.
1:11 AM - Beer twenty. I am thinking this is the magical eighteen though. I have done it 18 beers. Sure I threw up twice and fell asleep for an hour or two. I have reached the finish line. YEAH ME. Still watching Anchorman laughing hysterically. I am D-R-U-N-K. My head hurts.
1:41 AM - Beer twenty one. Wait you're probably asking yourself. You reached eighteen why mess with perfection right. Well I thought it was nineteen. And I was still watching Anchorman not tired. So I had another one. It had some scenes that were not in the movie the first time I watched it. Like deleted but put back in the movie. Something about eating cat poop...WHAT? Anyway I am charging through this last beer. Paul Rudd is funny in that movie.
BEST LINE: It's so damn hot...Milk was a bad choice.
1:52 AM - I am done. I am going to bed now. It was fun but I must sleep now. The End.

Well people there it is twenty one beers on one day. Even though I thought it was only eighteen. That is crazy. What's next for this beer guzzling fool. 30...Maybe. Or six in one hour maybe twelve. Who knows? My liver no doubt hates me. But I can't take it with me. I might as well use it up. Anyway I am so tired of typing. I am going to quit. I could expand more but I need to stretch and walk around or something. So there you go I realize it is not really an Essay and it is late and you are probably thinking I have problems. But hey I had a good time. And I still love Morgan Webb. Chicks with shaved heads like Natalie Portman are hot. They have to be like super hot first though. Anyway...PEACE OUT.

GROVE STREET 4 LIFE!!

My submission: No, not paper!

The following it true

It is perfectly natural to have phobias. Whether it’s spiders, snakes, or clowns, we all have fears. And, those who claim to not fear anything are not only liars, but are obviously afraid that we’ll think they’re a wuss if we know. The degree of fear which one has depends on the individual, but some people are just more afraid that others. Take for instance myself; I am terribly scared of heights. Let me just tell you, vertigo is not cool!
But, this is not about me. This is about a friend of mine, who for embarrassment we will call Amanda. So it came to my attention that she is a paper cut phobe. I know what you’re thinking, “who wouldn’t be afraid of paper cuts, they suck.” I will agree paper cuts do suck. I don’t find them pleasant, but I do not fear them. And when I say that she is afraid, I mean the girl is absolutely terrified of them. Just saying “paper cut” will send her over the edge. She says that her boyfriend likes to tease her by chasing her around with pieces of paper. I never really thought of paper as something to run from. Who knew? I bet she has nightmares about them. I should ask her if she’s ever had a dream where a giant sheet of paper chases her.
As I laughed hysterically while she confided in me about her phobia, I could see the terror build in her face. By the way, there wasn’t any paper around us when this happened. I could tell that she was truly scared. She got goose bumps, just talking about paper cuts. She proceeded to recall the fear that overcame her when she saw the movie Jackass, in which grown men give themselves paper cuts between their fingers, toes, and the clincher on their lips. Gross! Yes, I found this scene disturbing too. But, seriously she was traumatized.
I mentioned to poor paper cut phobic Amanda that she should look for a new job, because as a teacher she is a high risk profession for paper cuts. All those papers turned in, and all that homework. She I going to encounter so so many sheets of paper this year alone. Oh the terror. Has anyone ever heard of this kind of thing? Terrified of paper cuts that is? Granted, I don’t like them, nor do I think anyone does. But really, who gets excited when they get a paper cut? It’s not like it’s a five bucks that you find on the ground. Now that is something to be excited about.
From here she proceeded to explain the degree of sharpness of different types of paper. Before that moment, I would have never thought of paper as sharp. Who the hell says “wow that paper looks sharp. Dangerous even.” For example, she mentioned the paper that painters put down. She claimed that this is the sharpest of the evil paper, and that it should be handled with the utmost care. I’ve always thought of paper as useful, or important, but never dangerous or evil. At this point I had had enough of the paper cut nonsense.
This has been a cautionary tale. Be warned that people have phobias. And for everyone there is a person somewhere (maybe your friend) that is scared of it. Also, remember that paper can be evil and induce terror.

aarrgh!

I composed my essay entry in two sittings, thus saved it as a draft- i have now attempted to publish the essay several times, starting on wednesday morning. it tells me that it has published but does not appear on the blog.

Clocks and Calenders

Well the midnight deadline has come and gone. (I got mine in a little late...) and we only had three entries. I'll leave it up to the judges as to whether they want to accept late work. I know Randy had a good idea for an essay but the actual execution of it got a little messy and led to unconsciousness. I won't steal his thunder by blowing the story.
I'm jus sad that this little contest didn't lead to more posts. I started school, got a promotion, got in a car accident, all in like a three day span, and managed to post my essay. What's up people? There was so much buzz.

My Submission: The Mysterious Sunshade Defenestration

Let me preface by saying that I wasn’t there so a lot of the information here came to me second and third hand, but like the Kennedy Assassination and the Alien lading at Roswell, this event is surrounded in such mystery and controversy that I can’t help being fascinated.
A couple of years ago Alex was providing some drunken friends transport from one location to another, it was a long enough trip to require a short stint on the freeway, during which one of the passengers tossed his windshield sun shade into to cold dark night. Not counting Alex, there were four people in the car that night. That gives us four suspects, each with varied motives and abilities. To date, no one has taken responsibility for the incident and because of the involvement of alcohol memories are hazy as to what actually happened. At every get together where one or more of the parties is present, discussion of the incident ensues; finger are pointed and contradictory accounts are given. Every one of the suspects that has taken me into their confidence has pointed the finger at someone different. No one has said, “I did it..” Only, “he did it…” I have my suspicions as to the guilty party and this little tome will certainly be biased in a certain direction but I intend to profile each of the characters involved in the hopes that you’ll be able to form you own opinions and someday, maybe, we’ll get to the truth in all this.

The Victim: Alex is the victim in all this. It was his Camry and it was his sunshade. Earlier that night he had tracked us down, sans invitation, at the Yardhouse. Little did he know his persistency would mire him in such controversy. Its always struck me as strange that Alex didn’t actually see who threw the sunshade out the window considering how little time he actually spends looking at the road.

The Suspects

Nick: Nick had a window seat which gives him prime opportunity but there’s a problem with motive. What motive, aside from drunkenness, would Nick have to defenestrate (Look it up! You know long I’ve waited to actually use that word.) the sunshade. He’s not a bad guy and he didn’t even know Alex at the time. Is he the kind of person to throw a strangers sunshade out the window? Two other suspects have confided that Nick was the culprit, though considering the subjectivity of the sources, I tend to doubt the veracity of their claims.

Tom: If my understanding of the seating arrangements are correct then it was Tom who was sitting in the middle, or “riding bitch” if you’ll permit me a colloquialism. Considering his seating position it would have been difficult for him to get the sunshade to the window, especially without creating enough commotion for Alex to realize what was going on. From time to time Tom’s name will get thrown out there as the guilty party and he’s never said definitively that it wasn’t him. (though neither has anyone else). I think of Tom as the dark horse candidate in all this. He certainly had motive, and he’s clever enough to create enough confusion about the matter to keep his guilt hidden.

Tim: Tim was in the front seat and is therefore not a real suspect in the actual, physical act. But did he play a deeper role? Riding “shotgun” gives one a certain influence over the passengers. Was it his urgings that led the impressionable backseat riders to this act? Is Tim the shady leader in all this? It would certainly explain the confusion over responsibility and I can’t think of any one with more motive.

You can see how complicated things get with so many people involved, but I think our last suspect will cut through some of the fog.

Greg: Greg was riding in the window seat opposite Nick so he had the same opportunity but what were his motives? Greg knew Alex so he knew the consequences would be minor if any. We all know about the “rage” perhaps that played a role. Most disturbing and most telling is that Greg disappeared from social gatherings shortly after this incident occurred. Could it be the weight of guilt over the incident that keeps him away. Or, was Greg planning his departure all along and was this incident a sort of last hurrah. Certainly, Nick will attest that Greg is definitely the responsible party, but with equal opportunity it may be just a tactic of misinformation. For my money Greg is definitely the guilty. His disappearance is just too convenient to square with me. Why run Greg? It only makes you look more guilty.

Does Greg have information that could lead to the real defenestrator but fears retribution? And why are the others protecting him? Maybe, this thing is not the act of a single man, but a collaborative effort to corrode Alex’s dashboard through years of exposure to harsh UV sunlight. I’ll keep searching for the truth, one day the truth is going to come out. The car has been totaled (coincidence?) and memories are quickly fading. There’s even a theory out there that Dave was in the car. I’ll stay hot on Greg’s tail, my intuition points to him. If any of you see him, tell him he can’t run from the truth forever.

This Pic goes with an Old Post

Check out the Old Post that Goes with this pic, titled The Seamus Special.

Free Time

I had some spare time this afternoon while at work and something made me take a look at the archives of this blog. Life Outside The Rat Race has been online almost a year. I decided to take a look at the very first week that Pete and Randy started the blog. They couldn't get it to work properly and only Randy could log on so they had to make it a point to put their names at the beginning of their post. No one commented either. It was just Pete and Randy. So anyways, if you have some free time then take a look back at what we were doing almost a year ago. And come to think about it, maybe there should be some discussion on giving the blog a face lift for its second year. A new template i mean.

Deadlines...

Just so everyone knows, essays will be due midnight on thursday not wednesday. I'm giving leanience because the contest was proposed late wednesday night. Also, because i have no real authority over any of you, so in reality you can submit them whenever you damn well please.

my submission: adventures in online dating; a love story

okay, so i spilled the beans last friday night on the topic of my essay. how ridiculous is that?! but you all may have noticed at one time or another that i can't seem to shut up after a couple beers. hey- nobody's perfect. especially subsequent to a night of drinking.

speaking of imperfect things, it's so cliche now to say you can't meet anyone worth dating at a bar. i think it's possibe- it's also conceivable to meet someone at the grocery store when your carts bump into one another or at some mixer that the swanky firm you work for is putting together. but my life hasn't been so much of a sex and the city episode lately. so due to a boring day at the office, as a half joke/half serious (and entirely calculated) whim, i joined an online dating service which will go unnamed. oh yeah- i blabbed that too! okay, match.com (check me out.)

see originally, i entered a search for guys in my area of the beautiful inland empire. you know, it's pretty amazing that there are 50+ men in a five mile radius of me matching my exact prerequisites. i even entered some silly shit just to see! with internet dating it's not hard to grasp why most people are members. you can brag about yourself without sounding like a pompous ass, make stuff up and no one would ever know! you could say you love cats when you really think they should be barbequed, or post a picture of yourself from six years ago when you didn't have a double chin yet, or you could say your favorite pastime is snowboarding when you're actually a paraplegic. maybe you're better off meeting strangers at the bar- at least what you see is what you get!

anyhow, after goofing off with hours of random searches i decided to post my own profile to find out what kind of men are out there seeking women like me. and that's when i got suckered! because people start to email you and the only way to check it is to become a "subscriber". ha! well i figured, "i may be moving pretty soon anyway- might as well go out with a bang!" whoa- that sounded dirty, but you know what i mean.

so what am i looking for? on the spectrum of "man intentions" i fall somewhere in the middle of "chivalry isn't dead" (a common catch phrase among the romantics) and "i'll hump anything that breathes" (a common impression i get from the creepy ones). that's approximate, by the way.

it's only been six days since joining, and so far so good. honestly i think if i just got out more i wouldn't have started this venture. but it is pretty fascinating and with any luck, i might end up with a reason to stay.

Apartment Search 101

This month i'm going to dedicate to finding a new, cheaper apartment. Its gonna be hard cuz i'm looking for something in the area i'm in. I'm going to check out this place in Monrovia later tonight. Its a back house and i'm not sure that that's what i wanna do. It has hard wood floors though and that's awesome. So i figure its worth driving by and then if it looks cool then i'll make an appointment to see it. Finding an apartment is tricky business. Not only do you have to have all your money ready to go at any moment but you have to be available to see the places or get back to people. I've been checking out Craigslist.com for places these days. I've also been driving around and getting phone numbers off of signs. Its no fun. Especially when you think a place looks cool and then you call only to find out that there is no way in hell you can afford that particular place. My credit is good so if i actually find a place, that won't be an issue. What i really hate about moving is the security deposit and all the other deposits from the utility companies. I think at this point in my life a roommate might be an option. I'm also willing to give up some amenities. A patio or balcony isn't necessary. Windows in certain areas i don't need. I'm even willing to deal with ugly carpet. Most important though is the money i'll be spending on rent. It's all overwhelming really. So i hope things work out.

My submission: My Friends and I

My friends and I are an awesome bunch! We are super cool, funny and damn good looking. What do we do for fun? More times than not we "drink till we can't feel feelings anymore". Other times are spent lounging around. We eat, drink and are merry. Everyone is always there for each other too.
When we head to Las Vegas as a group of more than five, things can get crazy. There are times when the boys sit on each other or wrestle in a drunken haze. Sometimes the girls even get tossed across the room and thrown into a wall...all out of love of course. If my friends and I aren't in Las Vegas then we're camping at the beach in San Clemente.
This group of friends can become larger than five. It's more like fifteen! When we camp we have to get two camp sites. Even though my group of friends has expanded through the years we still stick with tradition. One tradition is going down to the train tracks in San Clemete at sunset to take a group picture before it gets dark.
Like I said my group of friends has grown. My friends and I are a constant math situation. We are always adding, subtracting and dividing. There are those friends we have all seen come and then go. There are new friends being added by marriage. Some of my friends have even become orphaned by their parents and need the support of this awesome group of friends. Me included! My friends are even multiplying! I have a friend who lives in England and a friend who comes from Idaho. We have all found each other and have become a great group!
In conclusion I'd like to say that I love you all and without you guys I'd be bored out of my mind! :)

Random Post

Sorry about that last post. I didn't mean for it to sound so grumpy or something like that. I just am having a not so good day at work. I apologize for sounding like a jerk.
If you guys want the deadline to stay on this Wednesday that is fine. I will just abandon my previous idea and write some little recollection or fictional story about something.
Anyway enough about that contest, how has everybody been doing? I have been doing ok. I won't talk about work because I don't want to. I had a good time at George's house on New Years Eve even though I couldn't drink too much due to having to work the next morning. It was good to see everyone happy and what not. Of course I missed my riding partner Pete and his lovely girlfriend Lauri but work comes first, right?
My weekend of Thursday and Friday was cool. Thursday consisted of me picking up Alex from the airport and then getting entirely too drunk, too quickly. Drunk to the extent of going to sleep by like 6:30 or 7, I think. It was lame but cool too.
Friday consisted of more drinking but no sleeping at 6 or anything. We had some beers at The Boat while watching UCLA beat NorthWestern. Then a few of us went to Happy Hour at Claim Jumper. After that we went to The Crown where Sheila met up with us (always a treat). After that we went back to my house played some dominoes then called it an evening. All in all a very fulfilling experience.
Of course Saturday was New Years Eve. Needless to say I drank there too.
Sunday night had a few beers.
Wow I drink too much.

I propose...

I propose that the due date be moved from this Wednesday to Friday at the earliest. This is just me and if I am disqualified then so be it but I can tell you all this much there is no way my "essay" will be done by Wednesday. So take it as you want just saying.
It's not like I will win anyway but there will be no essay submitted by Randy on or before Wednesday. Sorry.