My Submission: The Mysterious Sunshade Defenestration

Let me preface by saying that I wasn’t there so a lot of the information here came to me second and third hand, but like the Kennedy Assassination and the Alien lading at Roswell, this event is surrounded in such mystery and controversy that I can’t help being fascinated.
A couple of years ago Alex was providing some drunken friends transport from one location to another, it was a long enough trip to require a short stint on the freeway, during which one of the passengers tossed his windshield sun shade into to cold dark night. Not counting Alex, there were four people in the car that night. That gives us four suspects, each with varied motives and abilities. To date, no one has taken responsibility for the incident and because of the involvement of alcohol memories are hazy as to what actually happened. At every get together where one or more of the parties is present, discussion of the incident ensues; finger are pointed and contradictory accounts are given. Every one of the suspects that has taken me into their confidence has pointed the finger at someone different. No one has said, “I did it..” Only, “he did it…” I have my suspicions as to the guilty party and this little tome will certainly be biased in a certain direction but I intend to profile each of the characters involved in the hopes that you’ll be able to form you own opinions and someday, maybe, we’ll get to the truth in all this.

The Victim: Alex is the victim in all this. It was his Camry and it was his sunshade. Earlier that night he had tracked us down, sans invitation, at the Yardhouse. Little did he know his persistency would mire him in such controversy. Its always struck me as strange that Alex didn’t actually see who threw the sunshade out the window considering how little time he actually spends looking at the road.

The Suspects

Nick: Nick had a window seat which gives him prime opportunity but there’s a problem with motive. What motive, aside from drunkenness, would Nick have to defenestrate (Look it up! You know long I’ve waited to actually use that word.) the sunshade. He’s not a bad guy and he didn’t even know Alex at the time. Is he the kind of person to throw a strangers sunshade out the window? Two other suspects have confided that Nick was the culprit, though considering the subjectivity of the sources, I tend to doubt the veracity of their claims.

Tom: If my understanding of the seating arrangements are correct then it was Tom who was sitting in the middle, or “riding bitch” if you’ll permit me a colloquialism. Considering his seating position it would have been difficult for him to get the sunshade to the window, especially without creating enough commotion for Alex to realize what was going on. From time to time Tom’s name will get thrown out there as the guilty party and he’s never said definitively that it wasn’t him. (though neither has anyone else). I think of Tom as the dark horse candidate in all this. He certainly had motive, and he’s clever enough to create enough confusion about the matter to keep his guilt hidden.

Tim: Tim was in the front seat and is therefore not a real suspect in the actual, physical act. But did he play a deeper role? Riding “shotgun” gives one a certain influence over the passengers. Was it his urgings that led the impressionable backseat riders to this act? Is Tim the shady leader in all this? It would certainly explain the confusion over responsibility and I can’t think of any one with more motive.

You can see how complicated things get with so many people involved, but I think our last suspect will cut through some of the fog.

Greg: Greg was riding in the window seat opposite Nick so he had the same opportunity but what were his motives? Greg knew Alex so he knew the consequences would be minor if any. We all know about the “rage” perhaps that played a role. Most disturbing and most telling is that Greg disappeared from social gatherings shortly after this incident occurred. Could it be the weight of guilt over the incident that keeps him away. Or, was Greg planning his departure all along and was this incident a sort of last hurrah. Certainly, Nick will attest that Greg is definitely the responsible party, but with equal opportunity it may be just a tactic of misinformation. For my money Greg is definitely the guilty. His disappearance is just too convenient to square with me. Why run Greg? It only makes you look more guilty.

Does Greg have information that could lead to the real defenestrator but fears retribution? And why are the others protecting him? Maybe, this thing is not the act of a single man, but a collaborative effort to corrode Alex’s dashboard through years of exposure to harsh UV sunlight. I’ll keep searching for the truth, one day the truth is going to come out. The car has been totaled (coincidence?) and memories are quickly fading. There’s even a theory out there that Dave was in the car. I’ll stay hot on Greg’s tail, my intuition points to him. If any of you see him, tell him he can’t run from the truth forever.