My Submission: A Thursday unlike yours

The following is a true story. No names or facts have been changed. And excuse any spelling or grammatical errors. My keyboard sucks.

Let me start off by saying I know my submission is late and what not but I am not really interested in the No prize anyway. My prize was accomplishing what I set out to accomplish last night. For weeks now people have been saying I waste my days off by sitting around playing video games and watching terrible TV. I should be doing my laundry or cleaning my apartment, etc. So last night instead of doing nothing I set a goal that has been previously unattainable by me. My goal would be to drink 18 beers. I have tried this before but usually fall asleep and quit or can't move by about 14. I have logged when each beer was consumed and what was going on at that time. So sit back, enjoy and remember folks I am a trained professional. Please do not attempt to try this at home, but especially not in public.
The day started out like any other day. It was rather sunny outside and I was playing a video game. Pete had come over and we were sitting around like we normally do. Just a Lazy Thursday. Then I decided instead of sitting here wasting my day. I am going to drink an 18 pack. Pete though it was preposterous and that I would fall asleep because when I drink a lot that happens. But my mind was made up and so I began.

1:20 PM - I crack open my first Miller Lite and begin. Pete and Alex are here chilling. Alex had just woke up. He came out of his room wearing the same clothes he wore the night before. I told him that and laughed at him. He then told me Pete was wearing the same clothes he wore the night before. I looked at Pete and this was true he was. The TV is on the blue screen cause I finished my video game and didn't fell like watching TV. Pete is on the computer checking the blog. All is quiet except for the gardeners blowers below. And so it has begun.
1:36 PM - Beer two. Pretty much everything is the same, but now we are watching TV music videos for the most part. We are talking about movies and Michael Biehn. You know Michael Biehn. The guy for Terminator and Navy Seals. We are lamenting the fact we haven't seen him in many movies lately. But eventually we get over it. Pete heads back to the computer he is searching for a Walkthrough for RE4 he is stuck on a part with a puzzle or something. He finds it and gets the hint he needs.
2:01 PM - Beer three. Again all the main players are still here. WE are back to watching TV. Now we are switching between music videos and G4 TV. X-Play is finishing up, a show about video games. There is this woman on X-Play named Morgan Webb. I heart Morgan Webb. She is super hot and plays video games. Hello does it get better than that. I think not. Anyway so I am gushing over how much I love Morgan Webb. Then X-Play is over and this other show comes on named "Cheat" again about video games. This one stars a hot chick named Kristin Holt. While Kristin is hot I doubt she plays video games and Morgan Webb is still hotter and the love of my life.
2:12 PM - I go to the bathroom. I have to pee.
2:20 PM - Beer four. More of the same I am still thinking about Morgan Webb. Then Pete brings up Lindsay Lohan, how she went to the hospital and all. Pete says it is because of her bulimia. He tried to prove this but looking it up on the computer but no luck. While looking it up he gave my computer a virus. I took care of it. I said it didn't matter why LiLo went to the hospital but bit was for bulimia. Good. That girl needs a sandwich or something she is unhealthy skinny.
2:40 PM - Beer five. Still all hanging out here. Watching music videos and a sports talk show. They are all talking about the SC-Texas game and how Vince Young is the best player ever. I am like whatever. Then we start talking about hot girls and whether or not they would still be hot with shaved heads. For example Natalie Portman, who is super hot with hair or without hair. Pete and Alex disagree they say chicks with no hair regardless of whether they are Natalie Portman or not are not hot. I say they are stupid but they just shrug it off as if I am just not thinking rationally. A day removed I still stand by my statement. Pete is playing with an umbrella and breaks it. It was already broken though. I think I broke when I threw it into my car. Whatever. A package comes to the door it is addressed to Alex which is odd cause Alex never gets packages. It turns out it is for the both of us. They are the American Eagle giftcards from my cousin, Christmas gifts. Tim called and said he was going to The Boat if we were interested in joining him. I said We'll see.
3:11 PM - Beer six. Still watching music videos for the most by bands or artists that suck. I am still mulling over The Boat proposition. I think we will go. Still unsure though. Pete says he has got to go. He went to school. I say Stop by after school and bring a camera. I want to document this with pictures. He says ok. I finish my beer.
3:21 PM - Went to The Boat. We met Tim, Danny and Jonah there. We talked, and drank and ate. I should not have eaten it filled me up and that was bad. I had two large Miller High Life beers which amounts to 4 beers. So leaving The boat I had consumed 10 beers. Only 8 left right?
5:15 PM - Back home from The Boat. Alex is watching a DVR episode of Space Ghost. He is married to Bjork in this episode. Funny stuff I suggest you check it out. I am outside having a cigarette and a beer. This is Beer eleven.
5:34 PM - Beer twelve. Tim, Danny and Jonah came over to drink a few beers with me. They had a beer or two and then left. I am not sure what they did after that. I am sure it was fun though.
5:40 PM - Beer thirteen. I almost forgot to record this one. Tim loaded me so fast. It almost skipped my mind. Luckily I remembered. Tim was saying Dave was on his way to Mammoth. Hope he has fun. Danny is in the bathroom. Jonah is drinking some water. We are just chilling. Alex can't drink cause he has to work on Friday. Oasis is playing on the iPod. Tim is reflecting on days gone by.
6:07 PM - Beer fourteen. Tim has gone into the bathroom to shave his goatee into a Fu Manchu like me. I am his hero. Danny is chilling listening to tunes. Jonah is tired and half asleep on our couch. We are listening to my Crown Mix, which has mush less rap now Jeff, It is Sublime with Rivers of Babylon.
6:20 PM - Took a piss.
6:55 PM - Beer fifteen. I am cooking some ground Turkey patties on the Foreman grill with Cajun seasoning. It was delicious. I was pondering perhaps getting some real food after my beer. But that plan went away. I guess I forgot.
7:20 PM - First Hurl. I had to throw up because I don't know why. But I did. Afterwards I felt 100 times better. And back to drinking.
8:15 PM - Pete comes by and I am passed out. He says I was unconscious and moaning periodically. Entirely possible. Apologies to Pete for being asleep when he came by. Sorry dude.
9:15 PM - Back up. I am awake now. That power nap was just what I needed. Alex brought home Carl's Jr. I had a Western Bacon Cheeseburger and some fries with a Coke to wake me up.
10:05 PM - Back to drinking. Beer sixteen now. The finish line is in sight. I think I can I think I can. We are watching Scrubs on DVR. Great show. It is so hilarious how when JD thinks something you like see it playing out. Funny stuff.
10:58 PM - Somewhere between 10 and now, I went to the bathroom and made myself throw up again. Not sure why I guess I wasn't feeling well. But onward Christian soldier I say. Dive into Beer seventeen. I am surging towards the finish line. That mystery trip to the bathroom was just what I needed. I am empty and can feel the cool beer coating my queasy stomach and making me feel as if all is right in the world. I am finishing up Scrubs and have now moved on to CSI on DVR. Some crazy lady covered in hair. Damn I thought I was hairy.
11:47 PM - See this would be where I would stop. Beer eighteen. But somehow in keeping track of these I screwed up. After reviewing the tally today I just noticed I wrote the same beer twice for some entries. Too drunk to notice. On my tally it says I am only at 16 now. So thinking AI am at sixteen. I keep drinking. I feel great though I am just watching SVU on DVR. Drinking my way to health or poverty whichever comes first. Alex is going to bed because he has to work. I tell myself I can reach eighteen it is attainable. Little did I know I already had. So I keep drinking.
12:29 AM - Beer nineteen. Last night I thought Beer seventeen. Now I am watching Anchorman on DVR. I have the hiccups but I will not deter from my mission. Keep in mind people I am already done. You see what happens when you drink. Anchorman is frickin hilarious I am laughing my ass off.
1:11 AM - Beer twenty. I am thinking this is the magical eighteen though. I have done it 18 beers. Sure I threw up twice and fell asleep for an hour or two. I have reached the finish line. YEAH ME. Still watching Anchorman laughing hysterically. I am D-R-U-N-K. My head hurts.
1:41 AM - Beer twenty one. Wait you're probably asking yourself. You reached eighteen why mess with perfection right. Well I thought it was nineteen. And I was still watching Anchorman not tired. So I had another one. It had some scenes that were not in the movie the first time I watched it. Like deleted but put back in the movie. Something about eating cat poop...WHAT? Anyway I am charging through this last beer. Paul Rudd is funny in that movie.
BEST LINE: It's so damn hot...Milk was a bad choice.
1:52 AM - I am done. I am going to bed now. It was fun but I must sleep now. The End.

Well people there it is twenty one beers on one day. Even though I thought it was only eighteen. That is crazy. What's next for this beer guzzling fool. 30...Maybe. Or six in one hour maybe twelve. Who knows? My liver no doubt hates me. But I can't take it with me. I might as well use it up. Anyway I am so tired of typing. I am going to quit. I could expand more but I need to stretch and walk around or something. So there you go I realize it is not really an Essay and it is late and you are probably thinking I have problems. But hey I had a good time. And I still love Morgan Webb. Chicks with shaved heads like Natalie Portman are hot. They have to be like super hot first though. Anyway...PEACE OUT.

GROVE STREET 4 LIFE!!