Wedding in Mexico...not so smooth

So…I narrowly escaped Mexico. Long story, but I’ll give you an abridged version. Let’s just start by saying imagine things that you wouldn’t want to happen at your wedding, well they did plus some. First we arrive in Rosarito to find a Mexican carnival (this is a high point in the trip). WE rode the bumper cars (awesome), and then traveled on down to Ensenada. Met some folks at Papas & Beer, drank some, had some fun, went back to the hotel, slept. Next day (wedding day), hung out at Tim’s new favorite hangout Los Amigos, drank more beer went back to the hotel to prepare for the wedding. Doesn’t sound bad at all, does it? Just wait. Blah blah blah ceremony, cocktail hour, with apps. including civiche (this will come up later). Reception starts, had some shots, some food, some dancing. Everyone is drinking having a good old time. Here’s where it all goes downhill. I look over from chatting with some guests to see JC beating someone down, yes there was a fist fight at the wedding. Then next to me there is a continuation of the same fight, but with different people (no fists were thrown), which I had to jump in the middle of and stop. As if this is not bad enough, it gets worse. After the fight I found Bree crying, when I told her that it would be ok, she turned to me and yelled (in a very mean and bitchy tone) IT IS NOT OK, IT IS MY WEDDING, so I of course turned around and went to get another drink, I couldn’t deal with a yelling crying bride. So we leave (actually I think that we were all kicked out, nothing ruins a wedding like a fist fight). So we leave, and getting into a cab, JC proceeds to slam my hand in the cab door, ouch! Except I was so trashed I didn’t feel anything. Booze is like magic. Next morning, I feel like SHIT. I wanted to die. And, I realize that I have lost my sunglasses. We all gather in the hotel room and find out the almost everyone came back form the wedding with the shits. The civiche made everyone sick. Thank God I didn’t eat any, because I’m sure that the only thing that would make my life worse at that point would have been to have both a raging hangover, and the shits. Time to leave, but we weren’t able to just yet, because at this point it has become apparent that the car keys have been lost. JC & Richard head off to see if they can find the keys at the wedding venue, no luck, so they head off to find a locksmith, who they bring back to the hotel so he can take apart the car and make a new key from the ignition. Finally, the new key is made, and we’re off.

Final Tally
Fist fight at wedding: 1
Near fist fight at wedding: 1
Lost pair of sunglasses: 1
Lost car key: 1
Crying bride: 1
Angry groom: 1
Hand slammed in cab door: 1
People who got food poisoning from food at wedding: 12 (that I know of)

Lesson I learned: DO NOT get married in Mexico