Sunday, June 24, 2007

In the Bar that I will someday open...

In a the bar that I will someday open ties will be banned, leave them in the car they are making everyone else uncomfortable. You want to choke yourself? Keep in the privacy of your own home sicky.
There will be many many beers on tap, but especially Budweiser, Fat Tire, Mirror Pond, Tecate, Sierra Nevada, Stella Artois, Fuller's ESB, and Red Hook ESB, and yes for you poor lost souls who have not yet come to realize what real beer tastes like ...Coor's Light.

There will be a jukebox with 9 artists available. They will be as follows: Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Credence Clearwater Revival, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Tom Petty. If you can't find something you like out of that list...what are you doing here?

There will never be a dress code. Act like a douchebag and your out, thats my dress code.

Once every couple of weeks there will be non-amplified entertainment. Provided your band sounds something like those listed above.

There will be free peanuts, and you can throw the shells on the floor.

The price and temperature of your beer will go up or down depending on how you treat the staff and other customers.(You'll have to be a real douche to pay more than $4).

There will be a fireplace. (It adds class)

There will be a chess board. (it invites an air of intellectualism)

Well Drinks will get you fucked up, provided you meet the dress code.

There will be a dart board. (it adds sharp objects flying through the air combined with cheap alcohol to counteract the class and intellectualism.)

And hopefully, there will be all of you fine people.

6 comments:

Lauri said...

wow! this may take some thought.....

Lynlee said...

I want to go to this magical place right now

Jeff said...

If I get hammered can I call your girlfriend a bitch for not accepting a partially consumed beer?

Jeff said...

I posted my response on my blog

Pete said...

I'm still sore about that whole issue. I was dprived of the chance to defend my honor. Also of my chance to spend the night in jail.

appojax said...

add ping pong table and softball team 2dalist...