There's a major drawback to working in the morning that no one really thinks about. Or maybe they do think about it and no one talks about it. Well I'm talkin about it...Taking a shit. Thats right, If I have to be at work before 9am, I can't take a decent shit in morning. Oh sure, I could rush myslef and try to pinch one off really quick before a shower, but what kind of satisfaction does that bring? My bowels don't wake up until an hour after I do. At my job the morning is the busiest time and I carry a walkie si i have like no privacy until things slow down. And its not like I have a private bathroom. I have to plop down in a public restroom, How barbaric. So most times I hold it, wait for it to pass and put it off til later, all the while making strange faces. I think my co-workers believe I have a facial tic that only affects me in the morning. Should I start to get up early and wait for my bowels to wake up? I'm seriously thinking about that. Anybody out there have any suggestions for a comfortable shit at work? I'm talkin about a long comfortable shit where you can bring the paper and really get into an article and wait for any stragglers. Lemme know. How can I expect to be effective if I can't get a good shit in the morning? When I become supreme ruler of the Galaxy, the rule will be that no one will be ALLOWED to come into work until they've had a nice comfortable shit.
On another note, Randy and I have given up beer for a month. That's right. It was easy until today. I was driving home in friday traffic and God Almighty did I need a beer. But I guess when you NEED it, thats when you have to really take stock in your drinking habits. Its about 7 now and the need is passing. I'll tell you though, I could really use something for my head. (A wiser man than myself once said, "Hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head.) It may not show, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'm the nervous type.
4 comments:
You've given up beer or alcohol? Because let me tell you. This was a crap week at school capped off by the worst Friday ever and 2 Ken Kimball gin and tonics fixed that quickly.
I can' help you with the taking a shit part. I am a slow riser and it usually takes me around an hour to get ready in the morning. That means I drop the kids off just before I leave. However, we have "faculty restrooms" that are a little more private. However, the older teachers tend to destroy these places. I went in on Wednesday and somebody had an ass explosion and literally left smears of shit on the seat, the side of the toilet, and somehow on the wall.
Thats horrible. I dread the day I can not longer control my shit. At the symphony, the old timers have been known to let the little terds just roll down the leg,leave it on the floor and just keep walking. A land mine for an unsuspecting passerby.
john does, WHAT!
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