I've gone mad!

I have my own addiction these days. My addiction is my apartment. I've realized that i've been in this particular place for over two years now and that's the longest i've ever been in an apartment. So i'm starting to feel crammed and messy and old. First thing i did is made my balcony nicer. I got rid of shit and i stored other shit away. Then i moved on to my closets. I donated stuff and threw away things. I bought a new dresser that i've never had before. The one i had was owned by my grandparents like forever ago. Now i'm on the sofas. They too belonged to my grandparents. The cushions have been flipped so that the springs won't get me, and they are covered up with sheets. Its not cool. So i'm on the hunt for new sofas. The one i really really want is at Ikea. I'm gonna go check it out today and maybe purchase it. Thing is though is that this won't satisfy me. Its like i'm in a weird nesting period and things just won't be right. So my addiction continues to finding a whole new place. A bigger place. A two bedroom apartment. I can't afford alot unfortunately. So the search is becoming desperate. A two bedroom opened up in my complex so i talked to the manager who said that the rent was $1350! Now that may not sound like to much but for this particular place, its a bit extreme. Not to mention that the security deposit is $1500!! Outrageous. Everyday i check out Craigslist. This web site is awesome cuz even if your totally bored, you can search for anything. I check all areas and if i see something i like i stress over it for at least a week. Even if i know i can't afford it. Here are some examples of places i love but can never get...maybe...................ok so i realized that i don't know how to add links and i don't want to put a huge copy and paste thing on here. So just take my word for it. But anyways, the obsession grows. Not only do i internally stress about it but i've started to email these people from Craigslist begging to let me rent the apartment/house for less. They actually write back sometimes. Its degrading, i know. But if i want something i'm gonna try to get it. Life is short. And more times than not, i let things go and wish i'd done something. So i write the lame emails cuz i also figure, no one knows who i am. I actually called a realtor this morning and told my situation, i'm not expecting a call back. The rent is $2650 and i said i could afford $1050. That's a joke to those people. But my addiction continues. What's next for my apartment? I think i'll clean the carpets. Its exhausting being crazy.