It's Saturday night and I am friggin' bored. There is nothing on TV and I don't feel like putting a DVD on. I keep opening up Facebook to see if there is anyone (Alex) to chat with, but there never is. I could check my Fantasy Football line-up for the 3rd time today, but I don't think anything has changed on a Saturday. My poor dog is even more bored than I am. He takes little naps and then wakes up like a huge ball of energy. I feel bad. I would walk him, but we keep getting these intense bouts of rain. I walked him this morning but this dog needs a lot of exercise I guess.
I hate Charter Cable. This is the worst cable I've seen in years and my super high speed internet is crap. How have we allowed these mini-monopolies that the cable companies have over certain regions. I know, I know, sattelite. I'm getting there, maybe after the holidays.

"On the east side, thats where I met my Ramona" remember Sublime? do you remember the album 40oz. to Freedom and how many great songs where on that album? Do you also remember how KROQ repeated played that stupid date rape song over and over again? I've often wondered how the worst song on such a great album got so much airtime.

I just discovered that I have the Independent Film channel, Gangs of New York is on. Daniel Day Lewis is the only good thing about that movie. I always thought that he would have made a great Aragorn.

One Bad Apple

So I'm feeling better now. In fact, I'm feeling great. Being sick helped jump start some much needed weight loss that I've been trying to keep up. I've been on the wagon since right after thanksgiving and haven't had any fast food since then either. I have to get some more exercise though. I've never been able to maintain weight loss doing just one or the other, its always had to be both eating like a rabbit and exercising like crazy. Anyway, I'm just glad that I'm not in and out of doctor's offices anymore. Those guys are dicks who don't know what they are doing. Maybe if they spent more than 5 minutes in your presence they might come up with something useful, but as it stands your just a ball of symptoms to them and whether they can make you feel better or not, they seem to get paid either way.

So for lunch, I'm eating an apple of unacceptable quality. I got it from Ralph's. So there you go Ralph's you sell shit apples and now the whole world knows it. It's a granny smith. It tastes as though someone took all the meat out, put in in a blender and then stuffed it back into the peel. I had a granny smith from Gelson's the other day and it was exquisite. I was everything a granny smith apple should be. It was crisp and tart. It was delicious. Not like this mealy shit apple I'm choking down right now. What's wrong with you Ralph's? Don't you have any pride? Don't get me started on the Ralph's brand banana peppers I bought before the holidays. That's right, the ones that gave me the shits. If you are going to put your name on something, hadn't better be at least edible? The worst part is that I've three more of these crappy apples at home, just waiting to disappoint me. I can see them there now, just laughing. Now that they know I know they don't have to hide their glee at making me suffer. When you are that bad of an apple, there is no sense in hiding how bad you are behind your shiny green peel. When I get home, I'll find they have morphed into their true forms; rotten and ugly twisted into grotesque smiles. The second worst part is that now lunch is over. My hunger has not been sated and I didn't even have the pleasure of having had at least a little flavor. The third worst part is that my triglycerides are high so eating fruit is not really a good option for me...too much sugar. The fourth worst part, is that my lunch break just consisted of sitting at my desk eating a shitty apple and writing a blog. Not that I need a lunch break from staring at my computer. There is a packet of tuna in my office fridge and a plastic fork in my drawer. I could eat that tuna. Although, eating the tuna would probably mean consuming more calories than I'm likely to burn today. I think I'll leave the tuna alone.
Alex comes out on the 27th. I'm looking forward to the re-unification of the tri-fecta. It's going to be a veritable orgy of bad food, bad movies, laziness and shit talking. It's hard to contain my excitement.

Randy is a Dumbass (Tim and Pete's 10 reasons why) Part 1

1. He is too lazy to comb his own hair.
2. He thinks his bed head hair is a hair style.
3. His bedroom looks like it's been ransacked by the police.
4. He is excited that the McRib is back!
5. He thinks G.I. Joe is the best movie since Transformers 2

BTW Randy was present when we came up with this.

The Argument

Here's a little exchange that I found kinda funny. it illustrates how much Randy likes to argue. This isn't one of Randy's fantasy adventure stories, sorry. These quotes may have happened, not quite all at once I've taken a little license there, but the spirit of the argument is the maintained.

Randy: "Modern Warfare 2 is the best game ever. I don't like Halo, I only like games where I can see my character."
Pete: "you can't see yourself on Modern Warfare 2 its a first person shooter."
Randy: "what are you TALKING about...I can see my gun."
Pete: "You can see your gun on Halo"
Randy: "I don't play Halo so I wouldn't know"

I'll leave it there. You should be able to find this funny without being a gamer, but it might help. I wasn't arguing that HALO was better than MW2 because it's not, I was just trying to say that his logic for not liking HALO was shoddy.

Rumble in the Jungle's 35th anniversary

Watching some classic ESPN tonight I had recorded via DVR (thank you, God!) I had an interesting realization: my dad, who was an immense fan of Muhammad Ali aka "The Greatest," was about 24 years old when the Rumble in the Jungle between Ali and George Foreman happened in 1974. Here was a man (Ali) who talked huge and fought ever-larger. The Congolese in Zaire ADORED Ali, and during the fight they were vocal about each strike, however perceptible, to Foreman's dome. They wanted Ali to kill George Foreman. How much of this affected my Dad is certainly unknown, though I can guess: if this American man could somehow win the affections of a whole nation against another equally talented American man in a contest of strength, it deserved thought and perhaps even some great consideration.
For me at least, I remember three things about this fight the very first time I saw it: George Foreman at one time in his life looked Pretty Mean! The image of him hawking his wares belied the fact that he at one time really was a beast. Though his grills are no slouches, he in his prime was machine-like. I'll never forget how Ali used that fact to his advantage: the way Ali made it seem like he was losing and then finally strike his adversary like uncoiled cobras was pure mastery. But the thing that really makes me think is this question: once the cultural icons of our youth have passed on into selling stuff on infomercials and commercials, does that mean that we too have passed into old age? If it matters at all to ask the question, have we then lost it, what does it mean?
I wonder what my dad thought of when he saw Ali send Foreman to the canvas. That man who had fought only two rounds for most of his fights because he had knocked out the opposition so quickly. Though Foreman was mean and strong, the most important factor was that Ali was quick, quicker to deflect all blows to his head by shrugging off Foreman's powerful punches, thereby letting the champ tire himself out.

ROPE A DOPE!

I don't quite know where I was going with this but that I started writing a couple of weeks ago after watching the replay of the fight. I conclude that

1) Sports TV has come way too far and how much farther can it go? I wonder
2) Muhammad Ali is one of the closest things to Jesus we have on the planet.
3) George Foreman grills aint nothin to Fuck With.

The Zombie Catfish...a TRUE story for Halloween

The last thing we had to do before being officially moved out of the apartment was to move our aquarium. Moving an aquarium is never a pleasant task. We have a 29 gallon tank, and to move it we have to empty it down to about an inch of water with the fish still in it. Its still weighs about 100 pounds at that point, but its manageable. There's one thing that makes moving the aquarium a little bit more tricky than normal. I have this elusive little catfish that is now on his third aquarium. He outlives everyone. The problem with this guy is that he basically spends all day hiding in a log and only comes out at night or in the early morning. I go for months without seeing him. But I assume that if he died he would finally float to the surface so I don't really worry about him. So when I go to empty the tank, I pull his log out very slowly, jostle it a bit in the hopes that he'll swim out. He doesn't. I pull the log a little farther out and still nothing. there is no flapping or flopping in the part of the log that's out of the water. I figure he must have swam for cover and I just missed it, so I take the whole log out and look into all the cracks and crevices and listen for any signs of struggle and nothing. So I put the now air exposed log in the sink and do a visual inspection for the catfish. He's nowhere to be seen. I have seen him move quite a bit of aquarium rock so I start sifting the rocks with my hand to make sure he's still among the living. Believe me when I say, I sifted every inch of that aquarium and there was no fish to be found below the surface. I do a cursory search of the floor around the aquarium to make sure he hasn't pulled a Nemo and is heading for the nearest drain. Still nothing. At this point I'm resigned to the fact that Lauri's son of a bitch cannibal Angel fish devoured my 10 year old catfish like every other fish we try to put in there. Usually we find the skeleton, but Lauri had just changed the filter so I figured the bones got sucked in. Or that son of a bitch couldn't help himself and ate the bones too.
When Lauri showed up to help me, I gave her both the news and a strong admonition about that god damn cannibal fish killing the old wise man of the aquarium. Lauri however refused to believe that the cat fish could just disappear with out any physical evidence being left behind. She needed to see the body. So she went to the log, now in the sink and practically dry and inspected the nooks and crannies just like I had. We even ran it under the tap to try and flush him out on the off chance we couldn't see him. No luck. Lauri resigned herself...sort of.
Anyway, we took our time after that, taking apart all the equipment, gathering up random stuff from around the apartment and loading the aquarium accessories into the back of my truck. We drove to the house got everything set up. no sign of said catfish. End of story.

Until...

Lauri comes running into the bedroom this morning as I'm getting ready for work and says, "your catfish is alive and he's out eating" I couldn't believe it but there he was.
There is only one explanation for this. I sifted through every pebble of that aquarium and that log was out of the water for at least 45 minutes.
I once knew a fish that survived a double flushing, an impaling by a kebab skewer, and 3 months under the kitchen sink with no food in a tupperware bowl. The same fish went on to decimate my aquarium when I brought him home from Tim's.
But I cannot conceive of my catfish or any other fish surviving out of water for that long.
Here is the only explanation I can think of. My fish was raised from the dead in some voodoo ritual and is in fact undead. A Zombie. A Zombie Fish.

Randy Strikes Again

Randy tried to piss in my eye tonight because I suggested that he take nap AT work rather than having to take nap AFTER work. We were sitting in my backyard and he was kibbitzing about not being able to take a nap before going out on Saturday and I said "just take a nap at work." He said, "How would you like it if I pissed in your eye right now?" And I was like "What? Just cuz I said you should take a nap at work?"
"That's it!", he says, and the dude stands up on his chair, unzips his fly and start to whip it out, I start to say, "I don't know what impression I gave you but I'm not gonna suck tha..." but before I could finish the dude start urinating! Fortunately, I have the reflexes of a cat and got out of the way before the stream caught me in the face. I don't what about sleeping at work got Randy so riled up but I'll never suggest that again.
He calmed down later and I made him clean the piss off my/his table.

Star Wars used to be good

Have I ever told you guys that I'm a bit of a Star Wars fan? Well I am. So I'm home on a Friday night and it's the premier of the new season of the Clone Wars series on Cartoon Network. Having little better to do, I record and watch it. I've seen snippets before, and I promise I ALWAYS try to go in with a fresh perspective. But there are just so many problems with the whole concept of the only new Star Wars stuff focusing on the Clone Wars. Here are but a few: The "good guys" in the Clone Wars turn out to be the bad guys in, lets call it, Classic Star Wars. Clone Warriors become Storm Troopers, Anakin becomes Vader, Republic officers and pilots become Imperial officers and pilots. They even wear uniforms that look like Imperial uniforms.So, how are any of these characters sympathetic? Why isn't there one character that questions where the Republic is going? What is the goal of the "droid army" or the "Trade Federation" its never made clear except for the fact that they keep trying to take over planets? None of the Jedi's seem to be able to discern that there is something wrong with Palpatine. I know Lucas thinks he took care of that with that 30 second conversation between Mace Windu and Yoda in the Attack of the Clones (God what a stupid title) movie, but really? All the Jedi's in the galaxy and no one can tell Palpatine is a bad guy? They call the bad guys "separtists" isn't that kinda like "rebel"? Weren't we rooting for the Rebels? In 30 years the mythology completely changed philosophy, once it was admirable to rebel against a corrupt system of government, now its admirable to defend it. And worst yet all the old leaders from the classics have become complicit, Yoda, obi wan kenobi are made to carry out the machinations of the emporer. Weak. Super Weak.
The biggest point of contention for me is that there are so many more interesting stories to be told when it comes to Star Wars. Like ummm, the Rebellion. Presumably the Rebellion was goin on for some time before Luke came on the scene, why not show some of those stories? I know these ones are supposed to be for kids, but Classic Star Wars was good when I was a kid and its good now. It would be cool if the current custodians of the Star Wars mythos had the longevity of saga in mind.

I got a root canal. and it was okay

I am writing this at 3:15am because I can't sleep. I am writing this on my new laptop. The "H" key comes loose from time to time but it snaps back in. I ordered it online and don't want to go to the trouble of sending it back because of the "H" key. The sound card on this laptop must be amazing because I'm listening to The Postal Service on iTunes and they've never sounded so good. I have my Bose headphones on and I would swear that I'm listening to ambient sound. Amazing how even so so music can sound really good when it sounds really good. I had a root canal finished on monday but my gums are all swollen again. I'm going to call the dentist tomorrow and if there was some mistake made I'm going to be pissed off. This is my second root canal now and it seemed slap hazard compared to the last one. Those of you who know me, know that I hold dentistry in particularly low regard. Aside from the fact that it makes me panic in ways that, say, a bear encounter wouldn't; you have to understand that the science of dentistry has not changed much since the old west (have I discussed this in this venue before?) The only treatment for a bad tooth is still to drill the shit out of it and fill it with poisonous metals. The only thing that has improved is the anesthetic. Which, by the way, the dentist I went to didn't use on the second part of the root canal. It didn't hurt though. I did take exception to the fact that Judge Judy was on in the "operating room". Then there was the part of the procedure where the dentist called for "flame" and the dental assistant fired up a portable Bunsen burner and the dentist heated some poking tool and applied it to my tooth. I definitely didn't remember that part from the last root canal.
I worked until 10:30pm tonight and am due back at 8am. I'm not really worried though. At least it means I'll be outta there by 5.
Today is officially Randy's birthday, we are going bowling tonight. That should be fun.
I've been re-reading A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. It's about how the author decides to hike the Appalachian Trail. After reading the first few chapters again I tried to convince Randy to quit his job and hike the AT with me but he said "no" because he "doesn't enjoy physical excersion." I can't argue with that, just tonight I asked him to go online and he said no because the laptop was in his bedroom and he was in the living room. I called him a "lazy fuck shit" He didn't seem to like that much.
Now I'm listening to INXS Don't Change. Its one of only a handful of songs I like from the 80's. Here's a listing of the rest:
Melt with You by Modern English
99 Red Balloons by Nena (I like the English version)
Time After Time by Cindy Lauper
Ordinary World by Duran Duran
Everyone Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears

pretty much the rest of that decade can go and fuck itself.

Today's Quote

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
- Aeschylus

En Pace Resquiescat

I have never seen Road House. And I rate Dirty Dancing and Ghost among the worst movies I've ever seen. But God Damnit if Swayze wasn't one of the best movie villains of all time. I LOVE Point Break. Rest in Peace Patrick.

Quote for today

The mind determines what is possible. The soul surpasses it.
-Pilar Coolinta

So True...

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.
- Alan Corenk

Just a quickie

Just a quick thought here. There's been alot of "tech" news about the new Beatles Rock Band game coming out along with remastered CD's. *Ahem* CD's? I don't know who in the Beatles camp is resisting going digital, but they are making a huge mistake. I wouldn't say that CD's are a dead technology, but I would definitely say Dying. It's like when I held out way to long to start buying CD's and was sticking with tape. I had to re-buy everything on CD. Of course, now I'm re-buying a lot of stuff digitally. But there are two things that are silly about not going digital, the first is that if you buy a CD it can be easily converted to a digital file so there isn't any real protection. and two, because you can rip a CD, its easy to get Beatles music illegally. So why not give iTunes or whoever the right to sell the music and give fans the chance to pay for it. Simultaneously giving the next generation a chance to get the music, the way they get music now.
I'm just sayin'.

Gibbs Lake Trail

Here's what the guide book said:

Directions: From Lee Vining, drive about one mile south on US 395, then turn west on Forest Service road 1N16 (look for the sign indicating Upper Horse Meadow.) Drive approximately 3 miles to the trail head at the end of the road.

Trail notes: The 2.7 mile hike from Upper Horse Meadow to Gibbs Lake is one of the truly great day hikes in California. Since the trailhead is not located at a lake or other attractive destination, nobody get there by accident. It starts at upper horse meadow, elevation 8000 feet, and climbs up Gibbs Canyon to Gibbs Lake, 9,530 feet. That figures to a 1,500 climb, and except for a half mile of switchbacks at the beginning of the trail, most of the route is a steady grade along Gibbs Creek. It is a pretty spot, backed by bare granite, fronted by conifers, the trail ends at Gibbs Lake, meaning you will not be competing with backpapckers arriving from other trails for trail space or a picnic site.

Here's what the guide book should have said:

Directions: From Lee Vining, drive about one mile south on US 395, then turn west on Forest Service road 1N16. The road is completely unsigned and is, by the way, a dirt road. drive past the squatters in broken down RV's and hope you're going the right way because the actual sign for the road doesn't appear until you are a mile in. Also the sign is faded and almost unreadable. Go ahead and add a mile to the hiking distance, because unless you have a four-wheel drive you're not going to be able to get to the end of the road.

Trail Notes: The 2.7 mile hike from Upper Horse Meadow to Gibbs lake is one of the worst hikes in the Sierras. Since the trailhead is not located at a lake or other attractive destination, good luck finding it. It starts at upper horse meadow, elevation 8000 feet, and climbs up Gibbs Canyon to Gobbs Lake, 9,530 feet. The trailhead has no sign so, again, cross your fingers and hope you're going the right way. The 1,500 elevation gain is a straight uphill slog up the side of a mountain. The trail never switchbacks, it is a straight uphill climb that will have you winded in about 5 minutes. After the first half mile the incline decreases from 85 degrees to 70 degrees. But don't worry the incline jumps back up to 85 degrees again after about 10 minutes of walking. Gibbs creek can be heard as a distant trickle somewhere in the distance. for the duration of the trail you won't be able to see 10 feet in front or behind you because of the severity of the incline. Gibbs lake is an average lake by Sierra Nevada standards so unless you absolutely have to see it. Stay the hell away from this trail!

Fantasy Sports 2009

To start off, Randy thank you for inviting me to your fantasy league. I am sorry not to have joined it only because a bunch of you cool ratracers are a part of it. This fact I have guessed from the ensuing fantasy trashtalkin I witnessed on FB earlier tonight.
However, I am actually glad not to have joined. Last year I suffered from what I now term "fantasy burnout." I had three NFL teams, two NBA, an MLB and an NHL. Quite a few seasons had major coincidence with one another: The end of football with the beginnings of basketball and hockey was fun!
I wish you guys well in your friendly league. I am a part of another, 12-team, money league called "Masturb8ting Elephant" named for in honor of Joe Bima's team. George Miranda is the commish and damned if I do say so I think he does a bolly good job. I've talked my fair share of shit, I know I know. But we've been doing that league for about three or four years now.
The gist of this is that my new mantra for the next year of my life is to keep it as simple as possible. Nothing extra. By the way here's how my team looks this year:

QB A. Rodgers; RBs L. Tomlinson, Felix Jones, L. McCoy and L. Washington; WRs Dwayne Bowe, Randy Moss, Desean Jackson, Torry Holt, Percy Harvin and Earl Bennett; TE Greg Olsen.

K and DEF are negligible to me really. Of my main players I think Bennett might be the only throwaway. I like my team because I also have three kick/punt returners in Jones, Jackson and Washington. Excitement.

Two Things and then another thing

I got two things to say and neither is of any particular import but they need to be said. First, Fuck Ashton Kutcher. I know most people were like Fuck Ashton Kutcher a long time ago, but I'm just now starting to see the impact of the damage he's caused to society. See I have this really perfect John Deere trucker hat that fits my head perfectly and is perfect for hiking because it breathes. And this ain't the John Deere trucker hat you can get at Target, this is the real deal, from the Implement Store where you go to buy hundred thousand dollar combines and shit. But because that peice of shit wore a goddamn John Deere hat for the year when Punk'd was on TV, everytime I wear that thing I feel like people are going to think that I'm some kind of 10 years to late Ashton Kutcher wannabe. So yeah, Fuck that guy.
Second, I just saw that movie "I love you, Man" It was a good movie, but it's the second movie that makes a big deal out of the band Rush. The first one was "Fanboys", also a good movie, also puts way too much emphasis on Rush. I don't get it, I hate Rush. Where is all this support for Rush coming from all of a sudden? Are thier songs easy to liscense for movies or what? Is there anyone out there that likes Rush? Am I missing something? That guy sings like his balls are in a vice and the music...it just has no soul. Maybe its me, but I'm just not hearing it.

On another note, I'm heading for Yosemite tomorrow and I'm super excited about that. Everytime I go there I take a big risk of not coming back. John Muir lived up there for months at a time, living on tea and biscuits. I got a backpack full of cookies and some chai tea, I might just wander down some trail and just keep going.

Getting After It

So this week has been pretty annoying for me and I know why. The fact that since Tuesday I have been working from 1PM-10PM which sucks for lack of a better term. I basically can't do anything when I get home because people are tired and are ready for bed. I would usually be as well but anyway. Last night a friend texted me a couple times saying he was bored. I felt for the guy. I think I might have convinced him to go out with the promise I would meet him after work.

So 10PM rolled around and I was out I could not wait to wash away my work woes with the elixir of mass produced Light beer. Unfortunately the 10 was a nightmare. There was some accident over by Rosemead that was making everybody of course stop and look. I met up with a friend at Domenico's finally around 11 and man did I need a drink something fierce. "Barkeep something Domestic, Light and Cold over here." He obliged and we proceeded to drink. I drank. I had probably 3 maybe 4 of those Domenico's glasses of beer. I was feeling good and was like let's do something else I didn't have to work till 1 the next day. By this time another friend had joined us and we decided to hit The Station to continue our consumption of beverage.

On the way back to my place I almost had a heart attack as I was crusing down Huntington without a care in the world. I saw flashing lights and people waving flags. I thought oh shit it is a sobriety checkpoint or something. I am so fucked. Luckily enough for me Big Baby Jesus was smiling down on me and it was just some roadwork or something. Crisis averted.

So we met back at our place. Everyone got in my car and we got to The Station in one piece. The Station was crazy busy but we managed to find a spot near the bar and ordered up some Coor's Light. Well after shooting the shit and drinking at least 3 or 4 Coor's Lights. We decided it was time to head home. Usually this would be where the night would end. Not so this night.

Once home we started drinking there. We got out the beer and started standing around the kitchen drinking more Coor's Light. We called Suzy my girlfriend and sang 'Happy Birthday' to her. It was her birthday yesterday, she was as expected trashed. Anyway we started talking about the old times like Casa De Moe and me passing out early most of the time. Everybody was having a good time. We talked about going out to UCR to visit Jenny and going to frat parties. I think it was about that time we ran out of beer unfortunately. And based on previous experiences after 2AM Pasadena and surrounding areas are dry. BTW it was now close to 3AM. No alcohol purchases allowed. So we talked for a little bit more. Then we all decided it was time to call it a night. So we packed it in and stumbled back to our respective bedrooms and that is where the story ends my friends.

All and all it was a very good night and just what I needed. Work had stressed me out and I needed to forget about everything that was going on around me and refocus on the important things in life...Friends, Good Times, the Old Days and Fun.

And Beer of course the magical drink that cures all and makes me get after it!

BTW this occured 7/31/2009 and was written on 8/1/2009. I just didn't get around to posting it till now. Hope you liked it.

Crazy. My iPhone (yes, I have an iPhone now) is all set up for ratrace posting. In case you didn't know, I was in San Diego this weekend. Not for comic con like Pete, Lauri and Randy, but to visit Dave.
So let me paraphrase the trip for now (this post is only a test):
1. Tom fell down twice.
2. Danny apparently has a problem telling twenties from ones in dim light.
3. Dave hasn't got laid in a long time.
4. Tim is gonna be mad when he sees his table. Tim is always mad anyway.
5. Ron snores I snore we all snore.
Tbc....

Film Fest Update

Here is a tentative screening line-up for the film fest. We reserve the right to change our minds up to the last minute:

Rocky III
Torque
The Big Lebowski
Punisher: War Zone
Point Break
Tombstone
Evil Dead II
TBD

I'm not sure about the last one yet, I'm thinking about either book ending with Stallone and showing Rambo: First Blood II (Directed by the same guy who did Tombstone I just found out) or an Edgar Wright/Quentin Tarantino recommendation called Silent Rage starring the man who leaves a trail of tears and blood wherever he goes...one Chuck Norris. We'll start screening at 8am and take a lunch break around 11:30am so if there is a movie you really wanna see you can work out the schedule from here.

So Many Movies, So Little Time

I'm starting to get pretty excited and about Pete & Randy's 1st annual Film Fest Marathon. Here's whats on my short list so far. This is without having seen Randy's list yet. I'll have to narrow it down to 4 which is going to be difficult:
1) Bottle Rocket
2) Rushmore
3) The Big Lebowski
4) Raiders of the Lost Ark
5) Jaws
6) Tombstone
7) Raising Arizona
8) Cool Hand Luke
9) Big Trouble in Little China
10) Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

This is Really Happening

This Saturday, Randy and I are going to do a 16 hour film festival at my house. 4 of the films will be his picks. 4 of the films will be my picks. There is no theme and there are no rules, except that for timing's sake they can't be much over 2 hours. Talking and commentary will not only be allowed but encouraged so long as its of a filmic nature. I would like to invite anyone and everyone to stop in throughout the day anytime for some good cinema, beer and good converstation. The screenings have not yet been announced, but will be within the next few days. I'm not sure if I'm going to publish the order or not, you might just have to take your chances. Rest assured though that anytime you stop by, we will be screening a bit of cinematic gold.

The guy in the middle is Randy's Dad.

It's not a fake, here's the link

One question

Why is it that a flight between Chicago and LA only costs $289 or so?
But a flight from Cordova to LA costs $806?

Things that make you go hmmm...

Possible Answers

1) When there is only one road, there are only so many ways to identify it.
2) Since man's early days he gathered around the fire for warmth and protection. People are naturally drawn to it. Also, when the parents live on a virtual island there is really isn't anyway to get them out of the house for the night.
3)That wasn't really a question.
4)Alcohol. Remember kegs in the pool? Urination into the neighbors yard. Vomit on your bed. It's all interrelated.
5) Probably because when you pay all that money for a big truck you would expect that it could make its way out of a puddle.
6)if you think she was sucking them off then yes. Self esteem issues. I will say this, you were probably the only one besides the four that noticed. You always were a keen observer of the human condition.
7)Damp conditions, out of control breeding and no natural predators. Don't you guys have bats up there?
8)Again, yes you should have. You should have disappeared on that thing and hid it behind a tree or something. 4 wheelers are fun, never pass up a chance to drive one. Just watch out for cow shit.
9)You should have "done" her. Let people think it chicks like guys with skills. Acting skills, improv skills, video game skills.
10) "You're here to save the world, what a mind job...what do you say to something like that"

Questions I thought about at a Party

I went to a roadside party here in Cordova on the 4th of july. I was invited by some people who graduated high school 1 year ago. They even didn't invite me to bring beer when I asked they said they had enough. But there were a bunch of questions I came up with.
1. Party was at Mile 27 why are there no adresses or streets. Everything here is done by mile markers. This was the 3rd party where the directions to the party were given by number of miles. The others were at 6 mile, 23 mile, now 27 mile.
2. Why do all parties here contain a bonfire are there no house parties here.
3. Kids asking me I bet Mrs. Moe doesn't know I do this while they are drinking. I guess they think my Mom is a retard.
4. Why people here throw fireworks into the ground. They lit them and threw them in the ground they weren't set in the ground. This resulted in a girls hair being singed which nobody apologized for.
5. Why do people who drive big trucks get all mad when their trucks get stuck in the puddle of water and mud they were driving through.
6. There was a girl who left with a different boy 4 times and then they came back 15 minutes later. Were they doing what I think they were doing.
7. Why are there so many mosquitoes
8. Should I ask to take this guys 4 wheeler for a spin. About 5 people did and they said it was the best 4 wheeler they had ever been on.
9. People thinking I "did" that gossip girl (Blake Lively) when I was doing the movie Accepted cuz I was in her trailer one time.
MOST IMPORTANTLY
10. Why am I here

It was fun but I think these are interesting questions that could lead to interesting posts. If any of you have answeres to these questions either comment or post them. Later.

"War is destructive, even for the victors."

As I write this a fairly large spider dangles to my right, building some kind of web nest. I am trying to keep an eye on this pest, this hated animal, when I realize it is on the move, directly behind me it crawls across an invisible bridge across the steps on which I sit. Just as it reaches the other side, it surprisingly falls. I've lost sight of this dangerous entity, the common house arachnid. I not so slowly get to my feet to see it had crawled right up to my butt, presumably to kill me and make a mockery of his whole proceeding.
I stare the spider down as he crawls over the book by Sun Tzu I am reading. At this point is the best time to destroy my enemy but I decide to let them live. Maybe one day an enemy of mine could afford me the same mercy.
He crawls over the front cover, spine and back cover as if to mock my efforts at self-learning, and then not so slowly creeps up into the night.

A Plea

Could somebody please post something? I haven't been in a writing mood lately and I have to chose the subject matter a little more carefully since the audience has *ahem* widened.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX

Pete to Randy

I might get Hawk: The Slayer in the mail today so you might want to work that into your planning process. In the DVD commentary in the Spaced episode that references the movie, Edgar Wright says it's a very bad movie, so we may be in for a crapfest delight. You know what my favorite bad movie that we watched is? Ghost Ship. I really love that opening scene where the cable slices everybody in half, its craptacular. I'm excited to see what you have in mind for tonite. Your last stint planning a night out turned out to be a real adventure. They told me to tell you "Hi" at Applebee's last night. After I explained that you were in a bad place, mentally that fateful night they understood. "The aftermath of Taken has been hard on us all" they said. Anyway, they say no hard feelings you can come back any time. They wanted to know how you liked Watchmen but I just said, "don't ask." I hope your plans tonight don't involve going to Hollywood and Highland like you suggested last night. I have to be honest, I'm so old now that I don't even really know what that is. Does Paris Hilton hang out there? I still say that if I got a chance to lay down some tight beats for Paris that she would dig me. Not that I like Paris, but it would be an interesting sociological experiment wouldn't it.

Thoughts while driving the interstate 10 West

Clearman's Galley (the new one) is just OK. I have not established a great rapport with the place, not like I did the old one. I used to like sitting by the big-screen tv in the southeast corner. Now most of the tvs adorn spaces near the ceiling, and they are too small for such viewing from afar. I miss the little dinghy with all the condiments and napkins, what not as well. I like the full bar. But I haven't gotten used to the cleanliness in presentation and lines that the new Boat offers. Plus, for some strange reason (probably only in my mind) the food don't taste as good as it usedta.

It is faster to take the I-60 than it is to take the I-10. Also, instead of taking just the I-5 to Disneyland, take (edit)HWY 57 instead. It turns into the five. Much better, trust me.

There are a gang of strip clubs in Industry. I have been to some of them.

Superhero movies usually let me down. The last one I saw, "Hellboy" on DVD was a pleasant surprise. Either I want to have zero expectations going in, or I want the movie to be utterly faithful to the source material. No mixing and matching for the sake of cramming as much action into the movie as possible. For example, I thought X-Men 3 was craptacular because they tried to include too many characters thus neglecting the storyline which was completely bloated with too many ideas. Stick to one or two plots. With Hellboy, I had no idea what was going on yet I enjoyed it because the plot seemed straightforward.

Ronald Reagan was a war criminal.

I never worry about the gas tank anymore because I always fill it up when stopping for fuel. A sign of maturity? I dunno.

oh what a beautiful morning.

i took this picture from my patio yesterday morning before leaving for work. it's so purty here.

The Pantene Effect

There was no bar soap in the shower this morning. Which I knew because there was no bar soap in the shower yesterday, because I used it all. But of course my half sleeping pre-morning shower brain didn't realize this until I was good and wet. Lauri had already left for work so there was no yelling out, "Lauri, bring me some soap!" So two very simple options present themselves, the first is to towel off, walk to the hall closet, dripping on the carpet on the way and get a new bar of soap orrrrrr I could improvise. Shampoo is soap right? It's just liquid soap. People use liquid soap all the time with those loofas. So yes, I washed myself with shampoo this morning. I washed my armpits, I washed my apendages, and yes I washed my unmentionables with shampoo. I find that my pubes are especially soft, shiny and managable today.
***As of this publication there is still no bar soap in the shower

The problem is...

I got nothing to do. If you have read all 10 previous posts. You are either thinking man Randy is super lame, a total genius or has too much free time at work. I would have to agree with you on the last two not so much the first.

A Friendly Haiku

Pete is my best friend (5)
Lauri is my best girlfriend (7)
Tim is real cool too (5)

Another haiku for you

Seven hours gone (5)
Only one more hour left (7)
Then to home I go (5)

Started something

Did you ever start something that at first you thought was a great idea but then about halfway through you thought about it and what once seemed like a great idea wasn't anymore?

Postponed

The Forever21 company picnic was scheduled for Saturday May 16 but due to the recent public concerns over the spread of the H1N1 flu and the Company’s priority on the health & safety of our employees, the annual picnic has been postponed until September.
Damn swine flu I wanted a big TV.

Don't forget

Don't forget everyone the 3rd Annual JBC is this Saturday!!
Be there or be square.

Really?

So you'd think a guy who works on computers all day and night would be able to figure out how to change some small details on the blog as he sees fit. You'd be wrong.

Old Posts

If you haven't checked it out you should definitely check out older posts they are far more entertaining than my haiku.

A little Haiku for you

Sitting here at work (5)
8 o clock nothing to do (7)
This is my haiku (5)

-Randy

Movie Quote

Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter.

Pubs?

Pete brought up an interesting point to me on Sunday, I believe.
Why are there no pubs here? And if there are where are they?

PETE! Free comic book day is this Saturday!!!

HIT THAT SHIT UP... Everyone else interested... here's a link:

http://www.freecomicbookday.com/

This is what a Google search led me to....

I can't even begin to recall how I came to search Google images for St. Elizabeth Church photos... but that led me to Altadena's website. Then I read an abridged history of the City of Altadena (written by Mike Manning... ha!). That brought me to a blog written mainly by members of the Altadena Chamber of Commerce - when this article caught my eye. I'd love to hear what you guys think since I'm removed from the situation now.

http://ywcapasadena.blogspot.com/2008/08/wrong-side-of-tracks.html

We Kick ASS!!!!!

I just read all of 2005 posts or at least skimmed through all of them while listening to my ipod. After getting pissed that I'm not there and also crying from laughing so hard. I came to the realization that everyone who is on this blog KICKS SERIOUS ASS!!!!!!! I mean it all of you guys are great. Dammit! I wish it was still 2005 partly because I had a high society girlfriend in Haylie Duff. Just thought I should say that. I would blog more but I got nothing to blog about.

The Graveyard Shift

Ha. My dad used to work at the big Post Office on Lincoln, pretty much for as long as I was alive, til he died. He worked some weird hours; he'd leave after dinner at around 530 and get back home 'round 230 in the am. Me and my sister, Angela, watching reruns of Taxi and Tales From the Darkside would see the headlights and hear his car pull into the driveway as we scurried to our rooms.

I wonder if my mom ever thought that my dad cheated on her? Probably, I guess that's natural? But after he passed, some of his friends told me they admired that my dad never really looked at any other chicks even when they went out drinkin. Don't really know if that's true but I appreciate it I guess.

Anyway that's a weird way to start a post. I was reminded of stayin up late probably because of Randy's post title and also because I am actually staying up late too. Why am I up late you ask. Well I am painting a portrait of George and Priscilla Miranda. Why am I doing you wonder. Well I am a motherfucker I guess. But it's fun times believe it or not, I did a shot or two of Maker's and washin it down with some Heiny.

Times are alright. I wish it was hott already. I still work too much thought most of my time is spent playing basketball and making food. So that's pretty cool. Then again my work and home life intersect so much that I really actually live inside my own rat race, only there's no race, only kids who need food and guidance.

Oh by the way!!! There's a party here at Southwestern Academy (2800 Monterey Rd. San Marino 91108...Dave knows where it is he takes advantage of the gym every so) called ArtsFest at the end of the month, Apr 30th a Tuesday to be exack. And you all are invited. There's art and music and a fashion show I think? And me and Steffanie is gonna be there. PLus I have some pieces I been working on there. So it would be cool and it starts at 2pm until sunset. Also there is raffles for thinks like wiis and bicycles.

enough self-promotion... did i tell you guys the steff is my beer pong partner in the upcoming JBC?? (JOE BIMA CLASSIC!!!) this is the thrid annual one, suckas!!!

ps i don't think you guyse are suckers. thanks for reading this far i love you.

The Late Shift

So hey all. I haven't blogged in a while and I am not sure why i am now. Possibley because for some unknown reason this is the only website I can access at work. They must not have known too much about this when they blocked certain sites from viewing.
Anyway so I here at work and frankly am bored to death. I can only listen to my iPod for so long. Especially when they are all songs you have heard so many times. But that's life. So working at night sucks more or less because it is slow which is cool sorta however with no calls intense boredom sets in and with nothing to relieve it. It has been known to lead to madness.
With happiness though I can report I do have Friday and Saturday off for sure. Hopefully Sunday and Monday as well. I have worked 10 days in a row I think I deserve it. And before I get replies saying I work more than 10 days all the time, relax. I am not saying my job is harder or I deserve these days off more than you, just saying.
I think I will attempt to drink some this weekend. Hopefully this will lead to madcap and pointless adventures. Aren't those the best though. Anyway, why do I say anyway a lot? So...
I just got a call from a Store. As you probably all know I work for an IT Support Call Center. We answer the problems and fix problems for people who are not very computer savvy let's say. They are idiots. So like I said I just got a call. The store informs me the time on their registers is wrong. WAIT. What? Yes DST change happened like what a month ago and this Store is just now realizing that maybe this is why their Sales have been off for like the past month. Like I said savvy. I get calls like this every day. Sometimes they actually have problems that I can't fix or are challenging. But no most of the time, "My computer froze." RESTART THE DAMN THING! This isn't fucking rocket science is it? Sorry I have to vent sometimes.
Well I am going to go back to trying to do something productive. I know this post wasn't the best. But it is something to read for 5 minutes. Later y'all.

HAPPY EASTER

Oldies but Goodies!

I'd like to suggest to all of you reading the old posts we use to write. Our template has a nice feature that allows you to go back to 2005 if you wish. Check it out....

Twitter?

Well its been a long time since i've blogged. Work has been ridiculous lately so i kinda blame that on not blogging. But who am i kidding, i just wouldn't anyway. I do love looking at the pics Sheila has been adding. Keep us (me) updated on the house/move.

So at work the other day, i went to a seminar on how to Tweet on Twitter. Twitter has its own lingo and its own world. We were taught by an English fellow who had a great accent; I think that had made the seminar more interesting. He showed us youtube videos and statistics about Twitter. After going to this seminar, i've decided that Twitter isn't for me. Your allowed only 140 characters to type and everyone can see it and then they can "follow" you. The only thing that was kinda interesting was using "tweet-ups". You send out a "Tweet-Up" and say that you'll be at Matt Denny's and then people will "Follow" you. i just wanna send out a text to certain people and hope they join me. i'm a simple girl i guess. :) Are any of you on Twitter?

little house on the prairie

here's a picture of the house matt and i are buying. it's not little... but it is on the prairie. it's a bit rough now but it'll be amazing when we're done with it! i'll post updates of our remodel.

Back with a wimper

It's hard to follow up a good post. Randy's rampage got a lot of buzz and I wanted to continue the trend but I didn't know how. I couldn't keep up the "Randy does something unexpected" theme forever. Anyway, thats the mostly the reason for the long silence. That and the fact that I singlehandedly opened a new convention center (at least thats how it will read on my resume). Oh yeah, and I've fought off the Ebola virus once again. Still I have had several things on my mind that I think are worth sharing.
Number One:
I've decided that if I could be in any band at time throughout history, it would be Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Number Two:
I saw Watchmen on opening night and it was everything I hoped it wouldn't be. It was just okay. Besides changing the ending which I thought was a cop out, it hit all the major plot points and cut out all the subtlety and layering. Zak Snyder did nothing with the source material that could not have been done by any run of the mill hack director. However, I actually think it disappointed me enough that I'll never watch it again and stick to reading the book every few years.
Number Three:
I wish reality TV of any kind could be uninvented. I have nothing against midgets, drug addicts, fat people, people trying to buy, sell or improve thier homes, people trying to become or remain famous, I just wish I could not see those particular people on TV ever.

Is that not the cutiest fucking thing you've ever seen in your life?

A special present for Pete

I've never met someone so dedicated to the fine art of swearing like Pete. He's the only person I know to have judged a movie for not having enough use of the word "fuck". In his honor, I present to you every swear ever used in the entire run of the Sopranos:



the sopranos, uncensored. from victor solomon on Vimeo.

The latest:

Matt celebrated his 32nd birthday on Monday - we had a good old fashioned birthday party (as evidenced by the cake). Just look at the excitement on his face! My parents and I went in on a Wii for Matt... we haven't spent any quality time together since!

Closing day was changed to March 5th - less than two weeks from today. So now we start packing up our life. I took the dogs out this morning and wondered, "What if I just left all this poo in the yard?" Thank God I worked at Uline - we were able to get a ton of stuff for cheap.

I guess that's about it. Matt's back from Vegas tonight (business, not pleasure). Alice went to the vet again yesterday - she has a going problem that's becoming a growing problem. But she's on medication for a couple weeks - I'll let you know how she's doing (Lauri).

Top 5 Singers

Cuz we haven't done one in a long time I thought we could do another Top 5 but this time list the sexy sirens who melt your heart with their voices:

1. Leona Lewis - A sexy british girl who has a nice body, writes her own songs, has a sexy british accent . . . oh she can sing good too.
2. Britney Spears - After absence from the Top 5 she jumps back in with her hot bod and her catchy pop ditties.
3. Katy Perry - Am I the only one that finds her very sexy? She admits she kissed a girl and she liked it. By the way Maxim said they longed for her a bi -curious preacher's daughter who looks like she should be painted on a B-52 bomber. I agree.
4. Hayley Williams (of Paramore) - Any girl who can yell and rock out is hot.
5. Taylor Swift - Hottest Country singer out there who's also making counrty wildly popular (but Randy might think otherwise).

Yep...

We're moving to Indianapolis! Here's what'll probably be the last pic of our house. And I think Matt was feeling left out of our blog so here's a picture of him today too... lol.

News..

Since Sheila has been posting and commenting on the blog lately, i figured I'd spill the beans on her news. (sorry Sheila if ya didn't want me to tell). Sheila and her husband Matt are moving to Indiana in a month. Matt is originally from Indiana, so they'd be moving back close to his family. Enjoy house hunting and keep sending pics of the kids (aka Rudy and Alice)!! And don't forget to blog either! :)

Rudy

And here we have Rudy by the fire - her favorite place to be!

Alice

Just for the record, I don't usually dress my dogs in sweaters. She seemed to like it though!

Jeff and Randy Fought, the Raccoons Won

This isn't how I wanted it to go down and I tried to stop him, I really did. But the fact is that Jeff caught a beat down last night and Randy was the one who did it. Well, Randy and the Raccoons.
After posting about the Applebee's incident last night I thought I'd better check on Randy, as I read the story back to myself I realized that it had been a long time since we'd had a night like that and Randy might have been feeling a little...on edge. When I got to his house, Jeff had already commented on my post. See the comments on the post below to see what he wrote. Randy, to say the least, was not happy. When he answered the door, he didn't even say hello, he went right into it.
"What's with this motherfucker!?"
"Wha?"
"Jeff's comment on your post! Doesn't he know I ain't to be trifled with? Especially after last night?" He said as he pointed to the open laptop on his desk. Reading Jeff's comment, I could see why Randy was so pissed, but I tried to diffuse the situation.
"That's just his sense of humor..."
"Fuck that! Lets roll."
I shrugged, as I followed him out the door and out to his car I figured that was it. A few beers and a few laughs and everything would be back to normal. But in the back of my mind I could see that a switch had been thrown in Randy's brain. For me, looking back on Taken, I think it was the sheer banality of the movie that really got Randy's hackles up. A person can only take so much mediocrity before he decides he needs to become the shrieking banshee howling over the mind numbing din. As we got his car, I asked Randy where we were rolling to, he said, "we are going to settle the score."
"Not Dave and Buster's again," I said, "I beat you at Time Crisis 20 fucking times now and it ain't gonna change tonight."
I could barely see his eyes as he looked over at me in the dark car, but what was unmistakable was that knowing smirk as we pulled away into the night. When we started heading west instead of east, I knew we were in for a long night.
"where we goin' man?"
Randy changed the subject.
"I hope Watchmen is either really good or really bad, because if its just so so, I think I might lose really lose it." He was so matter of fact, as if he hadn't just really lost it last night, laying waste to the poor food service workers who didn't make it through the Chili's hiring process.
"You'd rather it was bad than just okay?" I knew what he was getting at, but I wanted the conversation to play itself out.
"of course. If it's terrible, we can just forget about it, move on, never watch it again and go back to reading the comic. But if its just okay, we'll watch it over and over again, wondering why it doesn't really work. Every time it comes on cable we'll sit there, turn our brains off and wonder what went wrong and the next time we read the comic, all we'll be able to concentrate on is how easy it would be to just watch the shitty movie and fast forward to the parts we want to see."
It was the same reason, I haven't read Lord of the Rings in 6 years. I'm still waiting for Viggo Mortensen to get out of my brain. By this time, the reality was starting to set in, Randy was clearly unstable and I had no idea where we were heading. We rode in silence as the 210 turned into the 134. From there we took a southerly course. It was then that the first real rumblings of dread started to bubble up in my stomach. He wasn't really gonna go see Jeff and "settle the score" was he? Had things gotten to this point? Its amazing when you think how fragile the mind can be when a small thing like an average movie on a Monday night can wreak so much havoc. It also occurred to me that Randy was thinking strategically, he was coming in from the Highland Park side instead of the South Pasadena side...the square community wouldn't even know we were coming. There would be NO warning. As we climbed the hill up to the condo, I was trying desperately to get Randy to call this off."C'mon dude, lets just get some Del and have the left over beer from the Super Bowl. You know how long its been since I had some macho nachos? This is trouble we don't need."
"Your Tombstone references aren't going to end this situation and neither is appealing to my fast food nostalgia."
Well that was it, the play had been called, time to protect the quarterback.
Randy seemed calm but confident as we walked up to the door. His knock was firm but not overwhelming. Jeff answered immediately, even before the third knock was finished. Did he know we were coming?
"what took you so long?" Jeff said as he turned his back to us and walked inside. We followed.
"it's time to settle up."
"if we're gonna do this, we have to be quiet, Amanda's asleep."
"Don't worry this won't take long..."
And with that they were at each other. The action was fast and close like the dust ball you see when cartoon characters fight. I was amazed at their ability to anticipate each others moves. Punch, block, kick, duck. It was as if they were the antithesis of one another. But they were learning each others styles and soon the blows started landing. Jeff seemed to have the advantage, he knew the terrain, but Randy held is own by sheer brutal force. He didn't have to maneuver around the lamp or the coffee table he simply punched right through it.
I stood back, I wanted no part of this. If I remember right, I kept saying something like"Alright, you've both made your point, let's just get some beers!" My pleas had no effect. They were in a grapple, a stalemate; and neither was backing down. When they finally broke apart it seemed like an explosion had gone off between them and they burst apart to opposite sides of the room. As Jeff paused for a millisecond to catch his breath, Randy made his move. I could see right away what his plan was. Jeff was standing in front of an open sliding glass door and outside...thar be monsters. Randy used one of those two legged kicks where his whole body is parallel to the ground and caught Jeff right in the sternum. It was enough to put him down...outside. Randy quickly slid the door shut and slammed down on the door lock. As Jeff began to get up, the first of them came. As Jeff realized what was happening the look on his face was something I won't soon forget. He made a move for the door but their numbers were too great and they were coming from the trees and down the hill like a flood. Raccoons. They were everywhere. On top of Jeff all you could see were those little raccoon hands, claws glistening in the moonlight, raining down scratching blows over and over again. The high pitched screaming came in short bursts at first as Jeff tried to roll and thrash around in an effort to shoe them off. It only made them madder. When they pinned his arms the screaming became constant. The last thing I saw was a mess of brown and black fur.
"I can't watch this...lets get out of here." I said.
"Now its over." Randy said as he walked out the door.
Randy, didn't talk the whole way home but that shit eating grin never left his face.
As for Jeff, I'm sure he made it out okay, nothing a few band aids and a little iodine won't take care of.

Last Night Randy Trashed the Applebee's

The night started out innocently enough. We went to see a movie. It was Taken, that new Liam Neeson movie where he tries to be a bad ass. I thought it was okay, but it really seemed to bother Randy. When we left the theatre he just seemed really morose. When I asked him what was wrong he just mumbled something about being "sicka dis shit" and something about "fucking studio system" I let it go, I didn't want to stir him into one of his rages.
"Hey fuck it man, lets go get some beer and mozzarella sticks" I said, trying to change the subject. He grudgingly agreed and being that we were in Monrovia, you know we had to hit up Applebee's.
The beer and appetizer trios were not helping Randy break out of his foul mood. I thought he was maybe just grouchy over having to stay in Boston and extra two days, but this seemed to go deeper. I thought I would let him open up a little bit so I asked the question I now regret ever asking...
"So what was so bad about the movie?" The look he gave me back was one of questioning disgust.
"How can you even ask that question?!" he said in a voice that was 2 decibels above a whisper.
"How can one man be a dopey idiot, buying his daughter a karaoke machine and the next, be like Mr. Bad ass super agent torturer. The Neeson character made no sense! and the simplistic linear plot could have been written by a two year old." he said now clearly not whispering.
"alright calm down", I said.
"I will not calm down! did you see the editing? It was like a kiddie scissor class cut the film up for paper dolls! It made the fight scenes terrible."
I could tell then that we were going down a really dark path and there was no turning back. Randy only makes Jaws references when he's really pissed.
"I've been quiet about this for too long! it's time to speak OUT!"
Before I could ask for the check the waitress was at our table.
"is everything alright?", she asked, knowing it wasn't.
"my friend's just under a lot of stress..." I said.
"Do you like Liam Neeson?" Randy asked the waitress, looking her intensely in the eye.
Here we go again, I thought to myself. Memories of drunken brawls, broken pint glasses, and cold sidewalks flooded in.
She stared back blankly, not knowing how to respond.
"Its a simple question, do you like Liam Neeson?" he said with an impatience now.
"I just saw him in that new movie and I thought he was good..." she said, hoping this was the right answer. It wasn't.
"That's fucking IT!" Randy, now shouting, threw his hands across the table and with a hulk like roar pushed all the food and beer onto the floor. I managed to get out of the way in time, but the waitress had a mixture of Miller lite, ranch dressing and marinara sauce all over her.
"I fucking hate the Hollywood studio system!" Randy said as he kicked the table over. It looked like he was going to grab a chair, but right at that moment two of the male waiters came up behind him and each grabbed an arm and started dragging him toward the door.
"Fuck Applebees and Fuck Hollywood!!" Randy screamed as they dragged him away.
"I'll puke in your fucking restaurant, I'll puke in your fucking restaurant..." he kept screaming.
And then it happened. Just as they were about to get him out the door he managed to get a finger to his mouth and down his throat. He puked all over the floor and all over the two waiters. They immediately let him go and backed away. At that point Randy bolted out the door, so I took my queue to do the same and ran right after him. We got in the car and boned out.
He spent the car ride home hugging himself, rocking back and forth saying under his breath, "I'll kill George Lucas, I'll fucking kill George Lucas..." over and over again.
I wasn't sure how he was making the connection but I knew how he felt. Maybe it's only a matter of time before we all feel the need to tear down a corporate edifice to make our voices heard.
Say what you will about Randy but the dude is passionate about cinema.
I'm just sorry that we probably won't be able to go back to Applebee's

Start Estranged at 4minutes and 32 seconds

I once got in a fight with Axl Rose and won. I'm not talkin about the fat, braided hair, no band havin Axl. I'm talking Welcome to the jungle era, snake walkin Axl. I ran into him at the Whiskey and told him that he put to much fucking Aquanet in his hair. He got all pissed and tried to take a shot at me, but I dodged it. He was so drunk that he fell on the floor. Then I stepped on his neck and said, "Fuck you Axl Rose, you ain't shit." Then he made Use Your Illusion I & II and dedicated the song Estranged to me in the liner notes. After that all was forgiven.

Times are gettin tough

Hey guys it's that Man from the GREAT WHITE NORTH!!! Anyways I have started school and I have to say I'm glad I quit and even more mad that I'm back there. I have 2 classes there which is Digital Photography which is fine and inDesign (kinda like photshop) which is okay too. Including those 2 classes I have Alaska History and English Literature from Fairbanks (I send my homework). Instead of tests or regular homework I get all essay questions. ALL ESSAY QUESTIONS!! 2 Pages each!! I get for English Literature thats okay but for a history class. I thought I could breeze through this but it's a lot harder then I thought originally. The Essay questions are stupid to like compare Alaskan Natives groups. I'm not native I don't know. I read the book and they tell me 2 sentences about them. I cannot transform that into 2 pages. Maybe I'll get better once I get going. But who knows. Maybe I'll get better once I get over my cold. Talk to all you guys later.

Beanie, come back

You don't even belong to me really. I suppose at this point we could say that possesion is 9 tenths of the law, but I think you originally came out of Tim's closet. Either way, I've been wearing you for the better part of 5 years now. Look, I know I was wrong to stray. And you have to understand that other beanie meant nothing to me. It was never right for me and I knew it right away. It was a fling. It was an attempt at something new, but it's over now and I want no part of it. You're the one I care about and your the one that knows me, or my head for that matter, better than anyone. I don't want another beanie and I know now that I never will. I made a mistake and I have to live with it. I don't want to fight, I just want things to be back to the way they were. The weather is getting cold again, can't we take the rest of the winter and make a go of it? You know its you I want and not that other beanie. Its always been you, we were meant for each other.

Potential Movie Screening

Given the dry spell of good movies (see previous post)I have a movie that I've been wanting to screen. It's the highly overlooked Coen Bros. movie called Miller's Crossing. For me, I think its my second or third favorite Coen bros. movie, behind The Big Lebowski and and maybe behind Oh, Brother... (I'm can be swayed in either direction.)
Miller's Crossing is a prohibition era gangster movie. It's a great character piece with a complicated plot. It looks great, having been shot by Barry Sonenfeld, it has a much cleaner look that any of their other movies. Its classic Coen though, dark and funny.
Anyone interested in coming over for a look see? No theme nights or dinner. Just a little artful esacapism.

Bitching about movies

I really like movies, but the time between finding movies that I REALLY like is growing longer all the time. I watched 5 movies today. I fast forward through 3 and gave up on two. I wasn't expecting anything spectacular, but my patience for mediocre movies is really wearing thin.
The first movie was Eagle Eye, it was also the biggest piece of shit of the day. It just plain sucked for too many reasons for me to even want to start listing them. Mostly though, the technological leaps which the audience was asked to take was just too fantastical to be set in the modern times. It would have worked better as a sci-fi movie set in the near future.
The next movie was called The Conversation, its a 70's movie with Gene Hackman and Harrison ford (among others) directed by Francis Ford Coppola. This movie is a throw away. It would have been good as an hour long short film. It supposed to be, I assume, a character study but none of the characters were that engaging. A lot of it was Gene Hackman by himself, so it was easy to just fast forward to the part where there was dialogue. The only interesting thing about this movie is how much it looks like the Royal Tennenbaums. I wonder if that was on purpose.
Next up, an indie movie called Humbolt County. Souless med student meets girl, goes with her to Humbolt, smokes some weed, finds himself. I still haven't finished it. I'm an hour and half in and I feel like I've been watching for 4 hours. Brad Douriff gives a good performance as an old weed smoking gradfather. No other redeeming qualities here. I think I'm just going to abandon it at this point.
Catch me if you Can was on TNT today. Thats a fun movie, not much below the surface, but entertaining enough.
Clockwork Orange. Where does Kubrick get off? I'll never understand why he is so revered. In my mind he has made two good movies, Dr. Strangelove and Full Metal Jacket. The rest is just pretentious crap and I include The Shining in that.
You know what I miss in action thrillers besides engaging characters, the F word. Because movies are made for teenagers now, I can't even her a Fuck or Motherfucker anywhere. so boring.

Pete:

Where's your blog?

Makes No Sense

I would like to take the time to comment about a Southwest Airlines commercial I seen tonight during the Laker-Heat game. By the way the Lakes are up five with about 2 minutes left. Ah shit Beasley just made a trey.. ANYWAY:

In a supermarket parking lot, a man is trying to jimmy open a car door while his wife looks on. He is patient, then harried, and finally frenetic. Losing all patience, the man tells his woman to wait while he fetches a largish rock, which he tosses at the driver-side window, presumably to smash said glass and retrieve his locked-in keys.

Or so we THINK? As the rock bounces harmlessly away and the car alarm sounds, another man walks up to the couple and asks, "What are you doing with my car??" Then the couple realize their car is in the next row of cars.

WTF? This makes no sense, i.e why would the couple think it was their car when in fact their keys....Jesus. Southwest had some funny commercials but this latest installation leaves me baffled. So a la Stan the Man I will give one of you a special No-Prize if you can explain this to me.

ps the Lakers are up 2 with 6.6 left. I would wait to tell you the outcome but the game is going to commercials and besides that's what the news and ESPN is for.

WTF?!?

OK, here is a list of incidents police had to deal with at one business in Susquehanna Township, Pennsylvania during the last year:

Jan. 19, 2007: Theft of cell phone
Feb. 16: Domestic dispute
Feb. 19: Domestic assault; one arrested
Feb. 26: Assault
March 22: Disorderly conduct; one arrested
March 29: Disorderly conduct; two arrested
April 2: Disorderly conduct
April 4: Domestic assault; one arrested
May 10: Disorderly conduct; one arrested
Sept. 9: Theft, assault.
Oct. 3: Domestic assault, simple assault; one arrested
Jan. 3: Disorderly conduct; six arrested

What kind of business attracts the kind of customers that forced twelve visits from the police and thirteen arrests over the last year (which, by the way, was actually down from eighteen response the previous year)?

Sorry, if you guessed some kind of bar, you would be wrong.

The answer is Chuck E. Cheese.

God Bless America.

I have a new blog

I have new blog. I am not abandoning this one of course, I just felt like creating something new. Check it out at http://grownupnerd.blogspot.com

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

(HAPPY NEW YEAR!!)