I guess it wasn't so much of a surprise that no one has posted since my last post on Thursday, more of disapointment really. Anyway, musn't dwell on the negative and simply get on with future. Saturday was a strange day in that I was feeling kinda down for no real reason. Just a bummer mood. I don't know why I started that way never mind that, I got over it and it wasn't important. What was important was the absolutely vile conversation I had with a new co-worker. For some reason, people, when they meet me, demand that I justify my existence by explaining what I'm doing with my life and what I plan to do with the next ten years of my life. I fucking hate it. I hate answering questions about myself and I hate that people feel like they have to interrogate me. I can't imagine doing that to someone and I can't find the rationale in them doing it to me. This particular incident was especially invasive and has permanently scarred any future interaction I might have with this person. It went something like this:
She says: So Peter I understand you going to be a History professor...
I'm not I'm studying English Lit. obviously she got this information from the last person who interoogated me but didn't listen.
I say: English actually
She says: I see and what school are you attending right now..
would it be so fucking hard to say "cool" and just leave it at that? Or how bout just simply "what school you go to"?
I say: Cal Poly Pomona
She says: Woooow!
Don't fucking pretend you've heard of it, most people haven't and most people mistake it for a technical school so fuck off with your "woooow!"
She says: and is being a teacher something you've always wanted to do?
This question pisses me off for so many reasons I don't even know where to start. First of all, I just met you like three minutes ago and already we're into the lifetime aspiration questions. Second of all, who grows up wanting to be a teacher. I wanted to be fucking race car driver or fireman or some shit. Then I wanted to be a writer then I discovered you don't actually make money as a writer so I decided to become a teacher. You know me as an Event Supervisor and I'm fucking awesome at event management but don't ask me about that for fuck's sake I mean it's only going to be the primary focus of our relationship. No, instead ask me about what I wanted to be when I grew up...
I say: Just for the last few years now.
She says: And who are your favorite author's
Oh please god when will this end?
I say: I go from author to author
She says: Really...and what are you reading right now.
describing this conversation is giving me chills up my spine but I will soilder on. You see, I've said before, what's really important is what people like, NOT what people are like. What books you read, what music you listen to and what movies you like say alot about who you are. As an extremely distrustful person I keep information about myself very private lest people form opinions about me without all the facts. When I read a book in public I bend the cover around the back so people don't see what it is. When I listen to music in the car I rool the windows up and turn the radio down at stop lights. I'm not paranoid, i'm just private. In short, the question "What are you reading right now?" is for me, like a stranger, and she is a stranger, saying "Show me your dick." at this point I am desparate to end this converstion. Unfortunately, my new boss is standing right there and any rudeness by me would be frowned upon. This is how I know I don't belong in the hospitality industry; its populated by extroverts who are more than happy to tell you thier life story at the drop of a dime.
I say: I just picked up Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
She says: Oh thats by that guy that just passed away oh don't tell me his name ummm...
No I won't tell you I'll just stand around while you agonize over it when i can just give you answer
I say: Hunter Thompson
You know what... the rest of the conversation goes on in a discussion of my having to explain who Hunter Thompson was, when he wrote, who he was associated with, and what the book is about...I'm not going to go on in this word for word fashion but I will say that the conversation ends with my telling her that the book is about Thompson covering a road race in Las Vegas under the influence of as many illegal drugs as he could find. She laughs at this in a way that signals she thinks the book is trite and that the conversation is finally over. Thank Christ. I really do long for the day when it will be socially acceptable for me to say "I'm an introvert and don't like talking about myself. What you need to know about me and what I want you to know about me you will learn in the course of knowing me." Until then I'll keep having crappy conversations like this one.
Work was work. It was a symphony performance so it was the usual crop of disabled elderly people and rich people wanting to be treated like rich people. A few words about these rich people. They are invovled in the arts and would probably describe themselves as liberal. Despite that, they treat people in the service industry like crap. They claim to be egalitarian but are more conscious of class structure than anyone I've ever dealt with. I want to be very specific about the group I'm talking about. I'm refering to rich artsy people; women with degrees in music and philosophy who don't really need to work but feel they are doing society a favor by working for the symphony association. Now, I'm being more political than I wanted to be in this forum and far be it from me to run down liberals, I am one for god's sake, but somebody I was having this conversation with said something that stuck with me, she said "people should live thier politics." As liberals we believe that a class system is bad news because someone always has to be at the bottom of the system. If we want to live without a class structure, the first step is treating everyone in society as your equal and not just a face that brings you food. Anyhow, enough on that, but try to heed my advice and "Live your politics."
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