The Long Goodbye

Its 1:39am and I'm up because I ate a bag of cheetos with my dinner and it gave me diarrhea. I'm telling you this because we're all friends and I believe that we can be honest with each other. Also because diarrhea is funny. Its also funny that I had to run a spell check on this post to see if I was spelling diarrhea correctly. I wasn't.
It wasn't one of those variety pack bags of cheetos, but it wasn't the full bag either, it was one of those 99cent jobs that you might find at a liquor store. Anyway, I thought it was only the flaming hot limon variety that did this to me, but apparently not. I used to laugh at people who said they couldn't eat certain foods because it messes up thier stomach. Now I am one of those dudes. I have to now swear off eating cheetos, which is a shame because I like cheetos. I like the fact that you get more cheetos in a bag than you would, say, baked Lays. I also like the durability of the cheeto. When you get a bag of BBQ Potato chips you get three whole chips and a bag full of crumbs. Not so with the cheeto, the cheeto is durable, the cheeto is strong, the cheeto could be made of asbestos for all I know as long as they put that cheese powder on it, thats all I ask for in a snack food.
Across the street from where I work they sell thse sandwiches that I like to stick cheetos into to make them crunchy. No use dwelling on the past I guess. Well, goodbye cheeto. You were a good friend and a good snack product of dubious ingredients and origins when I needed you.
I haven't had to visit the bathroom yet while writing this and thats encouraging, but I know this isn't over yet. After all, it was the 99cent bag you get at the liquor store and not the little bag from the variety pack, this could be a long goodbye.