Iconic Discordance in Modern Society

There seems to be a discordance in today's society as to which figure of legend, the pirate or the ninja is more deserving of our admiration. (Pay no attention to those who try to sway you towards zombies or vampires thats just a bunch of hooey.) I feel that its my duty as a member of this civilization to throw my hat in the ring. Having looked at the pros and cons of both the pirate and the ninja...I'm gonna throw my support behind the ninja. Now, before you pirate lovers tune out, at least let me make my case because I think pirates have a lot of good qualities. First of all, pirates can talk and their use of the dialect is great "arrrrrgh." "walk the plank" "davy jones' locker" and all that. Its good stuff. Whereas the ninja must exercise silence. Plus pirates party all the time. They are fucked up on rum half the time you see them. You wouldn't really want to have a beer with a ninja. Plus, clearly in the joke department the pirate wins hands down. But you also have to think of the downside of the pirate where the ninja clearly wins out. The biggest advantage to the ninja is the whole mask/secret identity thing. You never know who a ninja is. Your boyfriend or girlfriend could be a ninja. Your boss could be a ninja. You could be a ninja and no one would ever know it, unless you wanted them to. You have to consider the ninja lifestyle compared to the pirate lifestyle. Both enterprises are based on rewards. Both pirates and ninjas kill for reward. The pirate however is constantly sailing around running from the law, on a boat all the time, can't shower, crappy food, no women...and lets not forget the scurvy. Whereas the ninja puts on the black PJ's strikes in the dead of the night collects his/her reward and can enjoy it without fear of persecution. Then there's issue of weaponry. Sure pirates carry a sword, they have cannons and maybe single shot pistol...but...I mean...c'mon. The ninja is proficient with the sword, the ninja star, the bow staff, the crossbow, smoke bombs, the poison dart and don't forget nunchucks. Then there is the hierarchy, being a pirate is great if you're the captain. If you're just a swab you spend your whole day cleaning the ship and crap. What kind of life is that. A ninja is his/her own boss; someone tries to tell a ninja to clean something and its an instant ninja star to the eye, if your lucky. Finally, lets face it, ninjas are just more progressive than pirates when if t comes to civil rights. I mean, who ever heard of a girl pirate. A bossy drunk girl who goes around stealing other peoples shit, c'mon, we got a word for that. But a girl ninja...she takes off her mask and all that hair comes flyin out...well...thats just sexy. I still think pirates have a lot of good qualities, but i think I'm gonna be a ninja when I grow up.