Yesterday was a strange day. It was definitely the slackerest day I've had in a long time. It started when Randy picked me up from Lauri's at about noon. We got Jack in the Box because Randy only had $4 and that would get him two Jumbo Jacks and two tacos. We went home, we ate, we watched TV. After a while though it was just too stuffy and humid in Randy's apartment and I was still wearing the long sleeve shirt I wore the night before so I had Randy take me home to change clothes. (I love that Randy has a car now...)After that we stopped by Tim's for beer and air conditioning. All this time we were trying to plan a dinner night because it was Randy's turn, but with Randy broke and his apartment in a state of disarray(I'm being generous) the options were limited. I made a judgement call. I called off dinner night, no one wanted to pay for it and no one wanted to cook so it just wasn't the right night. Anyway, so Tim goes to work and we go back to Randy's.
What does one do on a Tuesday night with no agenda and worse yet, no money? What else, you drink the beer in your fridge until something brilliant occurs to you. So we did. Only this beer was special you see.
A few days earlier I had bought a 20 pack of Miller Lite from Rite Aid. When we had opened the sealed box and finished the first row of beer...it was revealed...The Golden beer. By some twist of fate an MGD had made it into our box of Miller Lite. In it's clear bottle, it stood out like a golden ticket. This was no ordinary beer. I would drink it, and it would be good. And it would give me special powers of scheming, like Lauri and Sheila had never experienced. (I also think I'm entitled to a tour of the Miller Brewing Factory.) And then something brilliant did occur to me. For some reason the boys had a gigantic bag of tortilla chips that had been sitting, unopened, in the living room near the air conditioner. I had put it in the cupboard the other day, remembering that it could come in handy at some point. So I thought: wouldn't it be a great idea to go to Ralphs and get two jars of Tositos cheese dip and have nachos for dinner.(total cost for dinner for two $6) Nachos and beer. I've lived on worse. Randy agreed it was a brillaint idea, but we both thought it would be even more brilliant after another couple of beers. So we sat down and started watching Seinfeld.
Here's where the trouble starts. On Seinfeld they were all sitting around Jerry's table eating Chinese food. After a few minutes Randy vocalizes exactly what I'm thinking: "God I wish I had enough money for Chinese food." Actually what Iwas thinking was: "God I wish Randy had enough money for Chinese Food." Randy's a bro but I had paid for the beer we were drinking so I wasn't springing for dinner that night. Well, anyway, you know once thats out in the open nachos just wasn't gonna do it for us. So we stewed and stewed trying to think of some scheme to get our hands on some Chinese food (from Fortune, a two item combo from the local hole in the wall was wasn't going to cut it either.) Then Randy thought of another brillaint idea, the golden beer was rubbing off on him.
Alex, our saviour, our knight in shining armour, Seamus himself, might be on his way home. He's been working his ass off lately and would surely be in mood for Fortune even though he hadn't seen Seinfeld. The only question was would he be willing to front his deadbeat, Grizzly Adams lookin' brother. With a little sweet talking from Grizzly himself, Seamus manned up like a trooper. We had it delivered. We didn't even have to leave the house. My friends, I can say with can say with conviction that it was the best Chinese food I've ever had. There was schezwan beef, Orange Chicken, Kung pao chicken, chicken chow mien and white rice and there was enough for seconds for all. It was beautiful. The rest of the night was spent watching a Japanese film called Battle Royale where highschool students are dropped on island and forced kill each other to the last man. And a little Aqua Teen to top it all off. At the end of the night I was suggested we might think about getting jobs. Randy agreed. It was a wasted day. But it was Life Outside the Rat Race, and it was beautiful.
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